One Night
by TwistedRocketPower
Summary: Prison was never something he had written in his day planner. Being beaten by men twice his size was something he never imagined. He never meant to kill the girl he loved. He never meant to hurt his brother. His whole life changed, in one night.
1. Red

I go into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

Once I get out I dry off and put on a comfortable pair of red, plaid pajama pants and a white t-shirt.

I take the razor that I had placed on the counter and I stare at it. Do I really want to do it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no... Right now? I'm not sure. Do I think I need to do it? It's probably for the best. Will I feel better after I do it? Most definitely.

I sit on the bathroom floor and place the cold razor against my left wrist. I begin to slide it across, slicing my skin. There is no turning back now.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

I watch the blood fall to the floor and suddenly nothing else matters. I feel a slight sting from where the razor sliced my wrist, but that's no big deal.

Now, I begin to feel... free. All the anger and stress I have had for the past few months just disappears.

I take the razor and place it against my other wrist. One small slice and now the blood is dripping from both of my wrists.

I lean back against the bathroom wall as I sit on the cold, tile floor.

Blood. There is so much blood all around me.

I'm beginning to feel lightheaded and my vision is becoming blurred. I'm not sure how long I've been in the bathroom, but I know its been a while.

As my vision completely fades I wonder if this is when it all ends for me. If it is the end, I don't care. It may be better this way.

I can barely hear a knock on the door. The knocking becomes louder and louder. I think someone is calling my name but I don't have the strength to respond.

"Cody!" Zack yelled in horror as he broke open the door, "Oh my God!"

Zack pulled two towels off of the towel rack and pressed them against Cody's cuts.

"Mom!" Zack screamed hysterically, "Call 911! Cody's not breathing!"

* * *

**Freakishly short first chapter, I know. But I wanted a small first chapter. Next chapter will definitely be longer. Again, like my other stories, I will not be posting every day. Sometimes it may take a fully week but it's usually around 3-5 days.**  
**So, I hope you like this first chapter and I hope you come back for more :) **


	2. Earlier

**Two years earlier**

I can't believe it. I can't believe what I've done. Why was I so stupid?

God I hate this orange jumpsuit. I always thought Zack would be the one here. I thought he would end up in this mess.

"Hello Cody, I'm Jerica Sanders and I'll be your attorney."

Cody kept his eyes looking down at the table he was sitting behind. Jerica sat her briefcase down on the table and sat down in the chair opposite of Cody. She opened the briefcase and took out some papers.

"I'm going to need you to tell me everything that happened exactly one week ago leading up to you being arrested."

Cody sat silently, as if he was stuck in another world.

"Cody! Cody Martin!" His head popped up, "If you want me to help you," She continued, "Then tell me what happened."

He nodded slowly, "Right, right. Uh, just let me think for a second."

"Take your time."

After sitting silently for a few more seconds, Cody began to speak, "The S.S. Tipton docked in California that day. After school was over, Zack, London, Bailey and I were going sightseeing. London's dad made arrangements for one of her cars to be ready and waiting for us. We went sightseeing for about three hours. Around six that evening..."

_"Let's go shopping!" London said as she clapped her hands together._

_"That sounds like fun!" Bailey replied with a smile._

_Zack rolled his eyes, "Make me barf."_

_"What about you Cody?" Bailey asked, "What do you want to do?"_

_"Whatever you want to do is good with me."_

_"Okay, I can't handle this," Zack said in an annoyed tone, "London, what if I dropped you and Bailey off to go shopping, then I take the car and come back to pick you up at nine. That gives us plenty of time to be back at the ship by ten."_

_"Why would I let you go off in my car?"_

_"Because if you don't then the entire time you shop I will complain, non-stop. And if anyone can complain, it's me."_

_"That's very true," Cody agreed._

_London sighed, "Fine. But if you do anything to hurt my car, I'll kill you."_

_"No worries."_

Cody stopped.

"Keep going," Jerica said.

"When we got to the stores that London and Bailey wanted to shop at I was going to go with them, but Zack said there was no way he was going to let me spend three hours shopping with girls. We didn't really have any plans so we drove around doing nothing for like half an hour. That's when Steven called."

"Who's Steven?"

"One of Zack's friends. Steven called and said that he and Willy- Willy is also Zack's friend- were throwing a little party on the beach. I didn't want to go, but Zack was driving so we went. When we got there everyone was drinking."

"How many people were there?" Jerica asked.

"Around twenty-five to thirty. It took about ten minutes before Zack was convinced that he should loosen up and drink. For me it took a while longer."

_"Come on man, just one beer," Steven said as he held a can of beer out to Cody._

_"No."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Because, now that my brother is drinking, I have to drive back to pick up Bailey and London."_

_"Well, we're all drinking."_

_"I know, but you all don't have to drive. You're all walking back to the ship."_

_"Fine, fine, fine. Be a loser. But, whenever you're ready to have some fun, the beer is right over there," He said as he pointed to two large coolers filled with beer._

"I sat on the beach, off to the side, by myself for twenty to thirty minutes before giving in."

"Why did you give in?"

Cody chuckled, "Because I was sitting on the beach, alone. Believe it or not half an hour is a long time to think about things. I mean there were about thirty people around, all of which I knew, yet not one of them were speaking to me. I had a big L attached to my forehead and I was sick of it. So, I had a couple of beers. I know I didn't have more than two. They tasted horrible but I wanted to fit in so badly that I was determined to drink at least a little bit. A while later I looked at my watch and it was eight forty-five so I got Zack. I took the keys from him, because I knew he had had more to drink than me, and we left to pick up Bailey and London."

_"You're five minutes late," Bailey said when as she got into the passenger side of the car._

_"Sorry," Cody replied quietly._

_"It's fine. You're just usually super punctual is all."_

_"Where's London?" Cody asked._

_"She wanted to shop some more. She's gonna call her dad, for him to call a driver, for the driver to come pick her up and take her back to the ship later on."_

_"Oh."_

_Cody had just driven off when Bailey began to smell alcohol, "Is that... beer I smell?"_

_Zack, who had been silent up to this point, spoke up, "No! Why would you think that?"_

_His much-too-fast reply worried Bailey, "Cody?" She said as she turned to look at him, "Have you two been drinking?"_

_"Uh...No, no. We haven't be-"_

_"Cody!" She cut him off, "You know that I know when you're lying to me. You've never been able to keep secrets from me. I smell beer on both you and Zack, now tell me the truth!"_

_"Okay! We were drinking. But I only had a couple of beers!"_

_"Damnit! Why did you blab, Cody?" Zack asked angrily from the back seat._

_"I can't believe you!" Bailey yelled, "Pull over, now!"_

_"No, I'm fine, I swear."_

_"Pull over!"_

_"I'm not pulling over, Bailey! Be quiet!"_

_"I will not be quiet! You are not driving!"_

_"I'm driving right now!" Cody yelled._

_"Cody, I mean it! Please-"_

"That's when I swerved," Cody continued as he stared passed Jerica, at the wall. "I've never worked well under pressure. I guess that, plus the fact I had had two beers... I couldn't concentrate. I swerved and the truck coming the other way didn't have time to stop. He hit the passenger side. When the ambulance got there they immediately took us all to the hospital. The guy in the truck was fine. I only had a few scratches and some bruises..." Cody's voice trailed off as tears fell down his cheeks.

"Continue, please."

"All because of my stupidity... Zack is still in a coma and Bailey is... She's dead. I killed her."

* * *

**I meant to update sooner but I've been really sick so I didn't feel like writing :( I'm still sick but I felt like writing so I figured I better write while I felt like it. **  
**I have a question. I hate the word "chuckle" but I couldn't think of different word for a small laugh so could you guys let me know a different word in your reviews? The word "chuckle" is one of my pet peeves. haha**  
**I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review :)**


	3. Simple

**Three Months Later**

Cold. I'm so cold. Why did they do this to me? Why did they wait for three months? I thought waiting in suspense was the worst part but... I was so wrong.

"Hey!" Cody's cellmate Christopher called out from the top bunk, "How are you?"

"F... f... fine," Cody managed to get out as he shivered.

"I told ya I couldn't do anything when it happened."

"I... know."

Christopher sighed, "I told you it would happen. I told ya to be ready."

Cody remained silent.

"How did the doctors treat you?"

"Okay... I guess."

"I heard those tests are embarrassin'."

"The guards... they could have... stopped it."

"Ha!" Christopher laughed, "To them you're just a screw up who murdered a young girl."

"I didn't... murder her."

"Whether you meant to or not doesn't matter to them, she's still dead because of you and that's all they see."

"They're not... all bad."

"No, not all of them. There's just not as many good ones."

Christopher jumped down off of his bed and knelt beside Cody's bed.

Cody, who was facing the wall, continued to shiver.

Christopher reached out and touched Cody's shoulder, causing Cody to jump in fear.

"Whoa! It's okay, kid."

"Don't... Don't do that... Please."

"Sorry," Christopher replied, "Turn around."

"Why?"

"Because... Just turn around, I need to tell you something important."

Cody slowly turned over, clenching his jaw so he didn't scream out in pain. "What?" He asked once he was facing Christopher.

"I get that you're scared shitless, and you can be as weak as you want to be when you're lying in your bed, but when you get out there you're gonna have to suck it up and get over this."

"How do... I do that?" Cody asked with tears in his eyes.

"Cause if you don't then they're just gonna fuck you again, and that time they won't leave you alive."

* * *

As Cody walked down the hallway with the guard most of the other prisoners were taunting him. Whistling at him, screaming his name, telling him how good he was and how good he looked.

Cody was escorted to a private room where Jerica was waiting. She was sitting down at a small table with two chairs. One for her and one for Cody. Once Cody was seated the guard left Cody and Jerica to themselves.

"How are you doing, Cody?" Jerica asked, knowing how stupid the question sounded.

"Is that a joke?" Cody replied. The dark circles under his eyes showed her just how long he had been without sleep. The fact that he looked as though he had lost over twenty pounds showed her how little he was eating. And after the phone call she got the previous day, she knew how emotionally disturbed he would become before his time in prison ran out.

"I'm sorry, Cody..." After a few seconds of silence Jerica cleared her throat and got straight to business, "I tried to get you transferred to a juvenile facility but the judge wouldn't do it. She said that you must serve all of your time in an adult prison."

"I agreed to the plea," Cody said in a monotone voice as he looked passed her at the white, cement wall.

"Yes, well, I shouldn't have let you agree."

"It was my choice."

"Cody, you are sixteen years old, you should not be in a prison with adult men!"

"I killed my girlfriend!" Cody said angrily, "I deserve this!"

"Nobody deserves what happened to you. We should have gone to trial, I could have won."

"No you wouldn't have and you know it! If we would have gone to trial then I would be stuck here for fifteen years instead of three. This way I get out sooner, and I get to serve my time in Massachusetts instead of California."

Jerica took a deep breath, "The men that... that raped you last night. They've both been sent to solitary for six months."

Cody nodded, "That's great," He said sarcastically, "Now I just have to worry about all of their friends and, six months from now, I get to see their beautiful faces again. I mean sure, they'll probably be so mad that they'll kill me, but hey, why should that matter?"

"How's your cellmate?" Jerica asked, changing the subject.

"He's fine."

"I made sure you got put with him because I knew that if you were safe with anyone, it was him."

Cody crossed his arms, "Yeah, he makes me feel all warm and cozy."

"Cody, has he done anything to you?"

"No, he has not done anything to me. He's a nice guy, considering he's a killer."

"You're gonna get through this Cody. You're gonna be okay."

Cody glared at Jerica, "You're not the one laying down every night to other men yelling out how they want to fuck you and make you an adult."

"I have to go, Cody," Jerica said with sadness in her voice. She got up to leave.

"Wait!" Cody called out, "Zack, how is he? Do you know?"

"He woke up a few weeks ago. He has to do six weeks of physical therapy then he and Carey will be back in Massachusetts."

"So... He's gonna be okay?"

"Yes, he'll be fine."

Tears formed in Cody's eyes but he refused to let them fall, "My mom, she doesn't know about... what happened, does she?"

"She hasn't been told yet."

Cody nodded, "Good. I don't want her to know. Make sure she doesn't find out."

"Cody, she needs to kn..."

Cody stood up, "No! I don't want her to know what happened!"

"Okay, I won't tell her."

"Thank you."

"Sure... Is there anything else you need?"

Cody thought for a second, "Do you know if Zack... remembers anything?"

"From what Carey told me, the last thing he remembers is driving to the party."

"Does he know where I am?"

Jerica sighed, "Yes, Carey told him a few days after he woke up. He was very upset... I'll be back to see you in a few weeks, okay? Just, hang in there."

"Easy for you to say."

* * *

"Why did you do it?" Cody asked Christopher that night.

"Do what?"

"Kill those people."

"Simple. I felt like it."

"Why aren't you beating the shit out of me?"

Christopher laughed, "Also simple. I don't feel like it."

"I'm serious. If I would have asked that question to anyone else here, I would be lying on the ground bleeding to death."

"Ten years ago I wanted money, bad. I was a druggie without my drugs or any money to buy them, so I went to a gas station with a gun that my dad had given me like three years earlier when I was fifteen. I went inside to rob the place and they said they only had ten dollars in the cash register. I didn't believe them. I knew they had probably pushed that emergency button that's under the counter so I had to hurry. They handed the ten dollars over but I knew they had more. I got so angry that I just shot 'em. A thirty-something year old man and his pregnant wife... I didn't know she was pregnant 'til after I shot her. Anyway, I went over to the cash register to get the rest of the money, but there wasn't anymore. They told me the truth... I killed them for ten dollars. I realized right then just how low I was. I waited for the cops to get there and I let them take me."

"So, you regret it?"

Christopher sighed, "Every second of my life... It's easier to get drugs in this place then anywhere else in the world, but once I got here I decided to straighten up. Get my shit together, you know?"

"Yeah," Cody replied sadly.

"You know what the funny thing is?"

"What?"

"The gun I used, I could have pawned and made a good hundred bucks off of it. Maybe even more."

They both laid in silence.

"What about you?" Christopher asked after a few minutes, "What's your whole story?"

"Ugh... It's a long story."

"Kid, we've got nothing but time."

* * *

**I would like to start by saying I am a horrible, horrible person and you all have every right to hate me. I am so sorry it took so long to update but, and yes I am making excuses although they are all true, I was sick for so long (I still have a cough), I had to catch up on all my school work, all the holidays are coming up so fast that I'm feeling overwhelmed, I have SAT's to study for, I have a photography class I have to start preparing for, I had to clean my entire room (hadn't been done in a long time), and I have to find somewhere inbetween to eat, sleep, and take a shower (cleanliness comes first!). Anyway, I did write half of this chapter the other day, then I went to bed, when I got up the next day and looked at it I hated every word so I tried to think of a good chapter. I thought of this last night and I rewrote the chapter. It is completely different from how it was going to go, but I like this alot more. **  
** I hope you guys enjoy and can forgive me! Please review.**


	4. Zack

Cody sat down at a picnic table. It was the only place outside where he could see all of the other prisoners. The only place where he had warning of an attack.

He had learned over the months to never look a prisoner in the eye, because it only led to trouble. Christopher, his cell mate, was the only exception to that rule.

He always kept his head up, making sure he could see all around him, without actually looking at anybody. This is when his peripheral vision came in really handy.

Somedays he was lucky and nobody bothered him... Today was not one of those days.

"Well looky here," One of the prisoners, Carl, began as he and his friend, Jude, made their way over to Cody, "Little Cody is in his favorite spot."

"It's so strange to hear him so quiet," Jude replied, "Just a few days ago he was screamin' his fuckin' head off. That's the Cody I know."

Carl smiled, "I can't wait til we get to hear the loud, screamin' Cody again. Shouldn't be too long from now."

Jude walked up closer to Cody, "What? You got nothin' to say? Did all the screamin' hurt your throat?"

Cody remained silent. He was trying his best to ignore the two extremely large men that were antagonizing him.

Cody could see guards all around, a few of them glancing over at Cody, Carl, and Jude, but none of them came over. Cody didn't expect them to either. He learned that they don't do anything til someone has already been physically hurt... That 'someone' was Cody ninety-nine percent of the time.

"Carl, I think he's turned into a mute!"

"Nah, the smart-ass just thinks he's better than us. He thinks that if he keeps his mouth shut then we'll just go away."

Jude turned his eyes from Cody and looked over at Carl, "Oh, but we're not goin' anywhere are we?"

Carl shook his head, "Nope. Wha'd ya think we'd get for beatin' the shit out of him?"

"Eh, a week in solitary. Give or take a day."

"So, we knock him out and we get a week of peace and quiet? That sounds good to me... What about you, Jude?"

"I like that."

Cody's heart was now racing. This wouldn't be the first time he got beat up, but that didn't make it any easier. Each time seemed to be worse. The only good thing was that they wouldn't be given enough time to rape him, like the other men did before.

"What have I ever done to you?" Cody asked as Jude and Carl came closer.

"Oh, he can speak!" Carl exclaimed, "Let's see if we can fix that."

Carl fist connected with Cody's jaw. Just as Cody went to scream in pain Jude's fist connected with Cody's stomach causing a gasp to come out, instead of a scream. They seemed to take turns, punch in the stomach by Jude, punch to the jaw by Carl. It wasn't long until Cody was lying on the ground. Then it was a kick to the face by Carl, and a kick to the stomach by Jude. Those few seconds felt like hours in Cody's mind.

* * *

"That's good Zack! You've made great improvement," Zack's doctor, Dr. Driver, said after Zack had walked around the outside of the hospital. He had walked for half a mile without needing to rest.

"Thank you," Zack replied, but he didn't seem happy. He and Dr. Driver sat down at a bench.

"What's wrong, Zack? I thought you'd be happy with how far you've come in such short time."

"It's not that," Zack replied as he stared straight ahead, "I am glad I can walk again... That sounds weird to say."

"Then what's the problem?"

Zack looked at the doctor, "There's not just one."

"We've got time."

"Well, first, I want to remember what happened. I try so hard but I just can't remember. It's the most annoying, and terrifying, thing in the world. There's this whole chunk, a really important chunk, of my life that is just blank. I hate that."

Dr. Driver sighed, "I know it's hard Zack, but the truth is that you will probably never remember what happened."

"I know... I've been told."

"What's the other problems?"

"I want to go home. I want to visit Cody. I want to talk to him... Mom, she won't talk about him. She hasn't mentioned him since I woke up and she was telling me what happened. I ask her questions about him, like if he's okay, but she just changes the subject."

"You have to remember that this has been very hard on Carey. Having to worry about Cody being across the country in prison, and you coming out of your coma and having to learn to walk again, that's very hard on a mother."

"I know it is," Zack replied, "But it's hard on me too. Cody is my brother and my best friend and I deserve to know how he is doing. He's in prison! Cody, the good one, is in prison! It just doesn't seem right."

"Unfortunately I can't fix all of your problems. But I can help you out with one."

"What's that?" Zack asked curiously.

"The "wanting to go home" part. I'm very happy with how far you've come and I think you're ready to leave the hospital."

Zack's eyes widened, "Seriously? I can go back to Boston!"

"If you want to... I know you love this beautiful hospital and I mean who wouldn't want your rooms view of the dumpsters," Dr. Driver said sarcastically.

Zack laughed, "When do I get to leave?"

"Three days. But, I want you to stay in physical therapy. I know a great doctor in Boston that I'll set you up with, but I'll go over all that with your Mom."

"Thank you so much Dr. Driver!"

"No problem... I will miss you though. You've become my favorite patient."

* * *

Five days later a badly bruised and broken Cody laid on his bed. Three ribs had been broken, and his jaw was so badly bruised that he hadn't been able to eat any solid food, making him even skinnier than he was before. He didn't look like himself anymore. He could barely recognize himself when he looked in a mirror. And if he and Zack were standing next to each other you wouldn't even think they were twins.

"Cody Martin, you have a visitor," A guard said as he walked up to Cod's cell.

"Me? Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Come with me."

Cody slowly stood up, wincing at the pain but making sure not to yell, that would only make the other prisoners want to hurt him more.

Cody followed behind the guard into the visitors area, "Table four," The guard said and pointed down to the other end of the room. Cody walked down to the table, not being able to tell who was there because of a wall that blocked his view. As he turned the corner he froze in shock. His brother, his best friend, was sitting on the other side of the table.

When Zack looked up and saw Cody standing there he gasped, he couldn't believe that was his brother. He quickly cleared those thoughts from his mind and stood up to greet his brother.

He tried, and failed, to hide his nervousness as he spoke to his speechless brother, "Hey, Cody."

* * *

**Again, I am so sorry for the late update. Major writers block and a super busy month is to blame. December won't be any less busy either. Christmas shopping Friday, SAT's Saturday, my grandma's 88th birthday on the 9th, my Mom's birthday on the 17th, tons of baking to do, and of course Christmas Eve and Christmas... Plus lots more. I will try and find the time to write inbetween everything. It just may take longer to update than usual. **  
** Please review, even if you hate the chapter. Just let me know. Reviews, good and bad, are important to me. Thanks :)**


	5. Dream

Z... Zack? What are you doing here?" A confused Cody asked.

"I wanted to see you," Zack replied.

There was an awkward silence before Zack decided to speak again, "Do you... Do you wanna sit down?" He asked.

Cody, who up to that point had his eyes glued to Zack, came out of his trance, "Oh, yeah! Right."

Cody walked over to the chair that was on his side and sat down. Zack also sat back down in the other chair.

"How... How did you get here?" Cody asked. He continued to stare at his brother. He seemed to be mesmerized at the fact that Zack was actually there.

"A cab," Zack answered. He tried not to focus on how bad Cody looked, but he couldn't help but stare at his seemingly severely ill brother.

"So Mom isn't... She didn't come?"

Zack shook his head, "Uh, no, she didn't."

Cody cleared his throat as he tried to choke back tears.

"...But she wanted me to tell you that she loves you," Zack continued, wanting to make Cody feel better.

"Your lying," Cody replied without hesitation.

"Wha... Am not."

"Yes you are. I've always been able to tell when you're lying," Cody smiled, "It's my special gift," He added with a laugh.

His laugh... That was what told Zack that the far-too-skinny, bruised, and broken boy in front of him was definitely his brother. Although the laugh wasn't as happy sounding as before, it was still a laugh like no other.

Zack smiled, but it quickly faded, "She does love you."

"No she doesn't... Why should she? I wouldn't love me if I were her," Cody replied. A tear formed in Cody's eye but he refused to let it fall.

"Then it's a good thing you're not her."

Cody sighed, "Does she even know you're here?"

"She's working all day at the lounge."

"So, that's a no?"

"Yes, that's a no."

"She didn't want you to come," Cody stated.

"What are you, a psychic?"

"What happened?" Cody asked.

"It's no big deal."

Cody leaned in closer to Zack, "If there was ever a time that I needed someone to be honest with me, it's now. You're as close to normal as I've got here. Answer my question... Please."

Zack paused for a moment, then began, "We got back two days ago. The first thing I wanted to do was come see you, but mom said no. I kept asking why and after a few hours I guess that question got old. We got into an argument... A big argument. This morning when she told me that she was working a double shift today I knew that I had to come see you... End of story."

Cody sat silently while he processed the information.

My own mother hates me. I can't say I blame her, but if there was ever a time that I needed her... Stop it! Stop thinking about yourself. You killed Bailey. Everyone has the right to hate you. Everyone should hate you.

"You okay?" Zack asked.

"Huh?... Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

Zack took a deep breath, "I need to ask you a favor."

"Uh, not much I can do for you from here."

"I need you to tell me about that night."

"Didn't mom tell you when you woke up?"

"Yeah, but that's just pieces of the story. I want the whole thing."

Cody shook his head, "No."

"But, I can't remember. I want... I need to remember."

Cody stood up, "No, I'm sorry, I won't."

"Why?" Zack asked as he stood. "You remember so..."

That's why," Cody interrupted, "I remember and it eats me up every second of every day. You're lucky, Zack. Don't try to remember. Just let it go. You have the chance to do that... I've gotta go."

"But, I..."

"Are you okay, Zack? I mean, physically okay? Can you walk normal and everything?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Cody nodded, "Good. That's good."

"But, Cody, I..."

"Goodbye Zack... It was good seeing you," Cody gave Zack a small, short smile before walking away.

* * *

_"Hi Cody! I've been looking for you!"_

_"Bailey?"_

_Bailey laughed, "Who else?"_

_"Wha... What are you doing here? You're dead."_

_"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to see you... You look terrible."_

_"I feel worse."_

_"You've gotta take better care of yourself. You don't even look like the same Cody I knew."_

_"I don't think I am that same Cody."_

_Bailey shook her head, "That's a shame. I loved that Cody."_

_"Yes, well, that Cody got you killed."_

_"Cody, you didn't... Oh, I have to go," Bailey smiled, "I'm glad I got to see you, Cody."_

_"Wait!" Cody yelled as Bailey walked away, "Stop! I need to tell you I'm sorry! I need to say I'm sorry!"_

_Even though Bailey was still close enough to hear him, it seemed as though she couldn't, or didn't want to._

"Bailey! Bailey!" Cody yelled in his sleep.

Christopher quickly woke him up with a few shakes, "What the hell are you doing?" He asked.

"I was... I was having a dream."

"Well dream quieter. The other guys hear you yellin' a girls name will only be ammunition to them."

"Sorry. Sorry I woke you up."

"Doesn't matter. I was awake anyway. Go back to sleep."

* * *

Zack sat up in his bed. He had been sitting up in the dark since he had gone to bed three hours ago. He stared at the bed that his brother used to sleep in. He thought about the times he would play pranks on Cody in the middle of the night. And the times where they would watch a scary movie and Cody would be so nervous that they would have to sleep with the light on.

Zack looked at the foot of the bed where Cody's special blanket laid. Zack couldn't help but laugh when he thought about how Cody carried it everywhere.

Zack's laugh quickly turned into a cry as tears rolled down his face. Cody, the scaredy cat of the two, was in prison. The one who had to sleep with a nightlight was in a prison cell, and by the looks of him he was being beaten regularly.

Zack hated to think of what Cody was going through. Cody could barely handle it when he and Zack would play fight for ten minutes, how was he going to handle real fights for three years?

In two weeks Zack was supposed to start back at Seven Seas High. How was he supposed to go back there without his other half? How could he leave Cody at a time like this?

Zack got up and walked over to Cody's bed, picked up Cody's blanket, and took it back to his bed with him. He always made fun of Cody for that blanket, but tonight he hoped it would bring him the comfort it always seemed to bring his little brother.

* * *

**Wow! I can't believe I updated this fast! haha... I was so happy with the reviews that I felt like writing :) Thank you guys so much! I probably won't update again until sometime after Saturday. I am so nervous about taking my SAT's. If you believe in prayer, please pray for me! I think I need to watch that Full House episode where DJ is about to take her SAT's and is nervous and everyone keeps saying, "Don't worry. It's only a test." haha**  
**Anyway, thanks again for the reviews! Please review this chapter as well.**


	6. Carey

"They get out today," Christopher said to Cody as he sat beside him at the picnic table.

"Who?"

"Carl and Jude."

"How do you know?"

"I've been here for ten years, Cody. I know how long a person gets put in solitary for doin' somethin' like what they did to you. They'll get out today."

"Well, my day just got better," Cody replied with a sigh.

"Who came to visit you the other day?" Christopher asked, changing the subject.

"My brother."

"How'd it go?"

Cody looked over at Christopher, "I didn't know you were my therapist."

Christopher shrugged, "After almost four months with you I'm used to you yackin' about everything."

"Uh-huh... It' was fine."

"Does he remember anything yet?"

Cody shook his head, "No. I hope he never does."

"Everybody in!" A guard yelled, letting them know that their hour of outside time was up.

Cody and Christopher got up, but Cody quickly grabbed the picnic table.

Christopher looked at him, "You okay?"

Cody nodded, "Just got a little dizzy. I think I got up too fast."

Carl and Jude did get out of solitary that day, but thankfully Cody was able to avoid them... Although he knew that avoiding them couldn't last forever.

* * *

Zack you need to start getting ready! You leave in less than a week!" Carey yelled from the bathroom as she got ready for work, "You need to write a list of some of the school supplies you need so we can go get them before you go back."

"Why can't I just go to school here?" Zack asked. He was sitting on his bed in his room.

"Because Seven Seas High is your school."

"Well, I could transfer to Boston High."

Carey walked to Zack's room and stood in the doorway, "Why would you want to do that? You always loved going to school on the S.S. Tipton."

Zack looked down at his comforter and nervously started to pick at it with his fingers, "That was... before."

Carey sighed and walked over to him. She sat down beside him and put her arm around his shoulder to comfort him, "Honey, I know it'll be hard at first. Bailey was your friend and you're used to your brother being there with you. But it'll get easier. It'll be good for you to get back to your normal routine."

"Nothing back there will be normal," Zack replied in almost a whispered tone.

"It'll get better."

There was a moment of silence before Zack continued, "I don't want to leave Cody."

"Zack, honey, there is nothing you can do for your brother-"

"Cody!" Zack interrupted loudly, "His name is Cody and he is your son!" Zack yelled angrily as he stood up.

Carey remained sitting on the bed. She was speechless and shocked at the sudden change in Zack's mood.

"You keep saying "Your brother". You said it twice in the last three minutes and God only knows how many times you've said it just since we got back to Boston! Anytime you mention him, which is only when I bring him up first, you never say his name! It's always "Your brother"! He's not just my brother, Mom! He's my best friend and he's your son, yet you won't even go visit him!"

Tears formed in Carey's eyes as she stood, "That boy in prison is not my son! My son doesn't go out and drink then drive! My son doesn't put his brother and his girlfriend's lives in danger! My son studies! My son is smart! My son is responsible!"

"That is such bull, Mom! Cody made a mistake! Do you think he would ever intentionally hurt me or Bailey? He would never do that! And from what you told me, I was drinking too. Why don't you hate me like you hate him?"

"I don't hate him. I just don't know him... Not like I thought I did. Yes, you were drinking and I am very disappointed, but you didn't drive; Cody did. And by doing that he killed Bailey and put you in a coma. You had to learn how to walk all over again!"

"Yeah, I know! I was there!"

Carey placed a hand on her forehead, "I can't... I can't deal with this right now. I have to go to work."

Carey began to leave the room, but before she reached the door Zack spoke up, "I went to visit him the other day," He said. His voice was slightly calmer than what it had been.

Carey froze, "What?" She said in disbelief.

"Cody. I visited him in prison the other day... He doesn't look good."

"I told you no. When you asked to visit him, I clearly said no!"

Carey's voice was raising, but Zack stayed calm, "I know. I went anyway."

"Why? Why would you do that?"

"I needed to see him... I think you should go."

Carey shook her head but remained silent.

"He looked bad... Like he'd been beat up. He asked about you Mom. He thinks you hate him... I told him he was wrong, but now I'm not so sure."

"I told you I didn't hate him," Carey said in a quiet voice. She was on the verge of crying.

"I know what you said."

"I... I have to go to work. I'll be back at eleven," Carey said, then she quickly exited the hotel.

Zack stood in his room, his heart beating rapidly. He felt as though his legs were about to fail him, so he sat down on the floor with his back against his bed. He curled his knees up against his chest as he began to cry.

* * *

"Cody Martin," A guard called out as he reached Cody's cell. Cody was laying on his bed, reading a book.

"Yes?" Cody replied, a bit startled.

"Visitor for you."

"Again?"

"Are we gonna have to go through your disbelief of having a visitor every time you have one?" The guard asked. It was the same guard who had taken Cody to Zack the last time.

"Sorry," Cody said as he got up and walked with the guard.

* * *

"Back so soon?" Cody said as he sat down across from Zack.

"It's been a week and a half."

"I know... I didn't really think you'd ever come back."

"Why would you think that?"

"Cause... It... It doesn't matter. What's up?"

"Just wanted to come see you."

Cody smiled, "You miss me, don't you? All these years you wished I would go away, and now that I have, you miss me."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Zack said, playing it cool. In reality he was just happy to see Cody smile. He knew it was probably a forced smile, but it was still a smile.

"What's wrong?" Cody said, his smile fading quickly.

"What do you mean?"

"I can tell," Cody said with a shrug, "Something's wrong... Is it Mom? Is she okay?"

"Oh yeah, yeah, she's fine. It's... It's me."

"What?" Cody asked with immediate concern, "Is it your legs? Can you not walk? Are you hurting?"

"Cody, calm down, I'm fine. I just... I'm gonna be leaving soon. I have to go back to Seven Seas High."

"Oh," Cody replied, "That's... That's great," He added, even though he hated the fact that his only visitor would be leaving him.

"Really?" Zack asked.

"Yeah. I mean, it'll be good for you, you know, to get back to the normal routine."

"That's what Mom said."

"She's right," Cody said with a nod.

"I..." Zack sighed, "I don't want to go though. I want to stay here. I want to be able to come and visit you."

"You need to go back Zack. You need to go be with Woody and London and all of your other friends. You need to go and annoy the crap out of Mr. Mosbey. That's where you belong. Not here visiting your sorry-ass brother."

"Don't talk about yourself like that, Cody," Zack replied seriously. After a few seconds of silence Zack opened his mouth to ask a question, but quickly closed it before letting the words come out.

"What?" Cody asked.

Zack shook his head, "Nothing."

"No, come on, what were you going to ask?"

"OK... Are you... Are you scared?"

"Absolutely terrified," Cody answered without hesitation.

Zack was surprised he answered the question, but it did break the ice. Although this was Zack's second visit he had ignored the questions that he wanted to ask most, including "Are you scared?" but, since Cody answered that one, Zack felt it was okay to ask a few more questions.

"Are you eating? You look so... so skinny. I mean you've always been skinny, but not like this."

"I eat sometimes. Not very often though."

"Is it because they beat you up?"

Cody looked surprised, "Why do you think-"

"The last time I was here your face was all bruised and you walked funny... Remember?"

"Oh, right... Yeah, prisoners aren't the nicest of people. But, that's not the only reason I can't eat... I just don't have much of an appetite." Cody honestly didn't know why he was spilling his guts to Zack. Cody thought about holding back, but the lack of having someone to talk to, besides Christopher, was getting to him. Zack's visits, even though there had only been two, meant alot to Cody.

"What's it like?... Prison, I mean."

"Imagine the worst thing ever, then multiply it times... well, a really big number. It's not... It's not like it is in the movies, or even on those Discovery shows where they go into prisons and talk to some of the prisoners and stuff. I wish it was like that... I guess it's pretty close to what hell would be like."

Zack felt as if he was about to cry. He also felt that, with how honest Cody was being, he also needed to be honest, "I've slept with your blanky every night since I first visited you."

"What?" Cody said in surprise as he laughed, "Are you serious?"

Zack nodded, "Yupp. Every night."

"Wow. That's a... shock... I wish I could see a picture of that."

Zack laughed, "You have one, in your head. We're twins. I look just like you looked when you slept with that thing."

Cody closed his eyes and began to laugh, "Yeah, yeah, that's a good picture."

Both Zack and Cody laughed for a moment, then they got serious again.

"I'm gonna miss you," Zack said.

"I'll miss you too. I like having someone to visit me. It helps."

"I'll try to come by again before I leave, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to get away."

Cody nodded, "Okay. But don't worry if you can't come. I understand."

"Okay... I can write to you while I'm gone... You're aloud to get letters right?"

"Yes, I am. I'll write to you too. I can fill you in on the latest gossip. I hear strange things goin' on in cell twelve sometimes," Cody said sarcastically. Again, both boys laughed.

The guard who had brought Cody to Zack came up, "Time to go."

Zack looked up at the guard, then back to Cody, "See ya."

Cody stood up, "Bye, Zack. And don't worry about me while you're at school. I'll be fine." Cody put the best fake smile that he could manage on his face.

Zack nodded then turned to leave. Cody began to walk off, then stopped and turned back, "Zack!" He called out.

Zack quickly turned back around, "Yeah?"

"Happy birthday tomorrow."

Zack took a deep breath, then put on the best fake smile _he_ could manage, "You too."

* * *

**Yay! SAT's are over! I think I did okay on the English and reading comp. but I'm not sure about the essay part or the math. I hate those kinds of tests! Way too much pressure.**  
**Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. I enjoyed writing it. Please let me know by reviewing.**


	7. Better

"It's time to go, Zack," Carey said as she headed to the kitchen to grab her purse off of the counter, "We have to be there in forty five minutes and it's thirty minutes away. Traffic might be bad." Those twenty-three words were the most Zack had heard out of his Mom since their argument a few days before.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" Zack called back in an annoyed tone. He came out of his room carrying one bag.

"What is that?" Carey asked, "Where is the rest of your stuff?"

"Uh... Already on the ship. These are the supplies you got me, everything else is still in my cabin."

"Oh, right... Well, let's go!" Carey rushed out of the room with Zack close behind. He rolled his eyes as he walked slowly to the elevator.

The taxi ride to the ship was a silent one. Zack stared out the window as he thought about not being able to visit Cody one more time before leaving. He wanted nothing more than to check on him, but it would have to wait until he could get on the ship and write to him.

* * *

Cody laid in his bed, his head was spinning like crazy.

"Come on Cody! Time to eat," Christopher said as he headed out of the cell. Cody didn't move. "Hello! Time to go."

"I don't think... I can get up."

"Why?"

"I can't see straight. The room is spinning."

Christopher walked over to his bed, "Here," He began, "Close your eyes and I'll help pull you up. Once you're standing you can open your eyes again."

Cody nodded and closed his eyes. Christopher held onto Cody's shoulders and helped him to his feet, "Now open," Christopher said.

Cody did. The room spun for a moment, then it stopped, "Huh, it worked. Thanks."

"Yupp. Now let's go eat."

* * *

"Bye Mom," Zack said quickly in a monotone voice.

"Bye honey... Now, are you sure you have everything? Do you need me to check your bag?" She held out her hand to get the bag but Zack pulled it away from her.

"No Mom! I have what I need. I'll see you at spring break. Bye."

Before Carey could get out another word Zack walked off and out of sight. Carey held her tears in until she got back to the Tipton. That's when she began crying and she didn't stop until she had to for work, the next evening.

Zack walked to his room. He glanced at the door across from his, the one that his brother used to be in. He quickly looked away, trying to keep his mind from getting too depressed.

He walked into his room, closed and locked the door behind him, then opened his bag of school supplies. Underneath the seemingly endless amount of paper, pencils, pens and folders was blanky. Zack had hidden him at the bottom of his bag. At first he felt stupid for doing something so childish. It had taken him three hours to decide whether he should bring it or not, but blanky won the battle and Zack brought it.

Zack was holding the blanket when someone knocked on his door. He hurried to his top dresser drawer and put the blanket inside, then walked over to his door. He didn't really want any visitors as the moment, he wanted nothing more than to be alone. But he knew that sooner or later he would have to face reality, so he took a deep breath before opening the door.

"Mr. Mosbey," Zack said, a bit of confusion in his voice. He expected a visit from Mr. Mosbey, just not this soon.

"Hello, Zack. May I come in?"

"Sure."

Zack moved out of the way and let Mr. Mosbey inside the room. Once Mosbey was inside, Zack closed the door back.

There was an awkward silence before Zack decided to speak first, "Was there... something you needed?"

"Um, how... How does everything look?" Mr. Mosbey asked as he looked around the room, "I mean no one has been in here since you last... Well, it has been a while. Does everything look the same?"

Zack knew that Mr. Mosbey was just avoiding the obvious questions. But Zack went along, hoping that it would get Mr. Mosbey out faster, "Yupp. Everything is just how I left it."

"Good. Good. That's good."

"Yeah."

There was another moment of silence. In that moment Zack became very annoyed. He sighed and rolled his eyes, "Why are you here?" He asked, with no patience left, "I got here not even ten minutes ago and you are already in my room to check up on... my room? Seriously? Come on Mr. Mosbey, if you want to ask me about Cody, or throw up in my face what a screw up both him and I are then just do it!"

"Zack," Mr. Mosbey replied with great concern, "I don't think you and Cody are screw ups."

"Then how come Cody is in jail, Bailey is dead, and I had to learn to walk all over again! And how come Cody is getting the shit beat out of him every day? Why won't my Mom even acknowledge that Cody is her son? Why do I wake up every morning with fear that I won't be able to get up because my legs have stopped working? And why is it that there is a piece of my life that I can't even remember? Does that sound like we're not screw ups?" Zack stopped talking and began taking deep breaths. It seemed that the more he talked the harder breathing was becoming.

Mr. Mosbey, realizing that Zack was having a panic attack, took a hold of his shoulders and guided him to his bed, "Sit down, Zack," He said. "Now take a deep breath in, hold it, now let it out. There you go. Do it again. Good job. Now, I want you to listen to me okay?"

Zack nodded.

"You and your brother are not screw ups. You made a mistake. You unfortunately both had to pay for that mistake, although in very different ways."

Tears formed in Zack's eyes. He didn't want to cry in front of Mr. Mosbey, but it couldn't be helped. The tears fell. "I just... wanna be at home. I just... want to be able... to visit him... and make sure... he's okay. Mom won't do it... I need to be... there. Not here."

"I know it's a difficult time for you and your whole family, Zack... You know, a friend of mine once told me that the more experience we get, the better we become."

"How does that help me?"

"You and your brother both had a horrible experience, but from every experience we learn something and it helps us and it makes us better people."

Zack wiped the tears from his face, "I don't feel like I'm a better person."

"Oh, but you are. I know that for a fact. See, I've always known that you cared about your brother, even though you didn't always show it, but for you to say that you'd rather be in Boston then on the S.S. Tipton... Well, I don't know about you, but it shows me that you've become a better person already."

Zack put his elbows to his knees and placed his head in his hands, "This is just all so wrong," He said as another tear dropped from his eye.

Mr. Mosbey put his arm on Zack's back and sighed, "I know Zack, I know."

* * *

"Cody... Cody?" Christopher kept repeating Cody's name, trying to wake him up, "Cody, come on!"

After a full five minutes of trying to wake him up, with no success, Christopher knew something was wrong.

"Guards! Guards! Help!"

* * *

**First: Thank you to _TSLOD_ for telling me "the more experience we get, the better we become". I know you said "I" instead of "we" when you wrote it to me, but it was something I needed to hear... Then I decided to add it to the story :)**  
** Second: Thank you all for your reviews! I love them all and I am very thankful for each and every one.**  
**Third: Today is my grandma's (aka Nanny) birthday. She is 88!**


	8. Elephant

Cody forced his eyes open. His eye lids seemed to be doing their best to try and make that impossible. He felt as though he had been stomped on by an elephant. Under his eyes were dark and his skin was pale.

He took a deep breath which led him into a coughing fit. A few seconds later a doctor walked into the room with a glass of water.

"Here, drink this," He said in a comforting tone. Cody took a few sips, then the doctor put the cup on the table. "I'm guessing we don't need a re-introduction?" He asked as he sat down on the side of Cody's bed.

Cody shook his head, "No, we don't, Dr. Marcs... What happened?"

"It's more like "what didn't happen". And the answer to that would be eating. Apparently you haven't eaten in days."

"I... I haven't been hungry."

"Really? Hmm. Well, your body is telling me a different story. It's telling me that if you don't eat then you'll die."

Dr. Marcs waited for a reply from Cody, but it didn't come so Dr. Marcs continued, "Is that what you want? Do you want to die?"

Cody's eyes filled with tears that he wouldn't let fall.

Dr. Marcs sighed, "I know it has been tough on you Cody, but you, unlike most of the other prisoners here, will get out one day. You will have freedom again."

Silence filled the air for a few seconds, then Cody began to speak, "The first three months... All they did was yell about the things they wanted to do to me. Then they... did it."

Dr. Marcs was the doctor who took care of Cody after he was raped. He had been working as the prison doctor for twelve years and never once had he seen somebody hurt as badly as Cody. Then he took care of Cody again after Cody had been beaten up by Carl and Jude. The doctor knew why Cody was in prison, but he couldn't help but feel bad for him. He knew what Cody had done was wrong, but he also knew that Cody belonged in juvie... Not in a prison with men twice Cody's size.

"I haven't eaten much since then," Cody added, still not letting the tears in his eyes fall.

"You have a brother, right?"

Cody nodded.

"You really think he would want you to starve yourself?"

"I just... I don't want to starve myself... It's just easier not to eat, because when I do I feel... I feel like I'm gonna throw up... and sometimes I do."

"Is it because you are afraid that what happened to you before is going to happen again."

"No," Cody said sadly, "It's because I know that what happened before will happen again."

There was another brief silence. Dr. Marcs would have loved to be able to tell Cody that what happened before wouldn't happen again, but he couldn't say that... Because the truth was, that Cody was probably right.

Dr. Marcs stood up, "I have you on an IV right now. It'll help some. Make you a little stronger. I'm gonna keep you here for forty-eight hours."

"Forty eight?" Cody questioned, "For passing out?"

"Well if you want to go back to your cell right now I can unhook the IV and let you go," Dr. Marcs said, although he didn't mean a word of it.

"No!" Cody shot back, "No... Forty-eight hours is fine."

"That's what I thought." He began to walk out of the room as Cody noticed that his hands were free.

"Um, aren't I supposed to be cuffed to the bed or something?" He asked.

"Cody, I doubt you could even fully sit up by yourself right now. I think we're all safe without you in cuffs. Now go to sleep for a while... I will be back later with jell-o which you are going to eat, even if I have to force feed you."

"Yes, sir," Cody replied as his eye lids dropped and a tear escaped his eye.

Forty-eight hours... Forty-eight hours without having to worry. I never thought I would love a hospital so much.

* * *

Zack's first day back at school was uneventful. No one talked to him and he talked to no one. He received death glares from certain girls and guys that were friends with Bailey, but that was all. Zack ignored the glares that he already knew would come and he was glad that no one tried to talk to him. He didn't feel like talking. He didn't feel like doing anything except going back to his room and going to sleep. But the massive amount of homework he had was telling him a different story...

For thirty minutes he tried to do his homework, but he just couldn't. Even things that made sense before just didn't now. His eyes were so heavy that he couldn't keep them open long enough to read one full sentence. _'Just a couple of hours sleep. That's all I need,'_ He thought to himself. He sighed as he walked over to his bed and laid down. He was asleep within seconds.

* * *

Zack's eyes popped open as his alarm blared. He couldn't believe it when he saw the time on his clock, "Seven a.m.? Are you kidding? I slept for fifteen hours!" He said to himself in disbelief as he jumped out his bed to get ready for school.

He looked at all of the opened books on his desk and they made him feel sick. It wasn't the fact that he hadn't gotten any of his homework done... He had done that before. It was the thought of having to carry them around all day. Yes he had a locker so he would only need to carry one or two at a time, but even thinking about that made him tired. If he hadn't of forced himself to stop thinking about it he would have been so exhausted that he wouldn't have been able to even walk to his door to leave for school.

* * *

When Zack was nearing his locker he noticed an increased amount of stares. He didn't think much of it until he got to his locker and saw, written with red spray paint, the word '**KILLER**'.

* * *

**This chapter is kinda short... Sorry for that. But it's better than nothing, right?**  
** My sister's boyfriend is coming here today. It'll be the first time we've ever met him. He'll be staying for a few days so I don't know if that means I'll have less time to write, or more time to write. **  
** Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review to let me know.**


	9. Sleep

After staring at his locker for a few seconds Zack took a deep breath, calmly walked up to the locker, and opened it without saying a word. He put some books inside and closed the locker back, then he walked away. Everyone around him continued to stare but he looked straight ahead, ignoring the crowd.

He went to his classroom and sat down at his desk. He propped his elbows up on the desk and laid his head in his hands as the bell rang and class began.

* * *

Fifteen minutes into first period and Mr. Mosbey entered the room. He walked over to the teacher, Mrs. Caldwell, and they whispered for a few seconds.

"May I speak with you for a moment, Zack?" Mr. Mosbey said after he and Mrs. Caldwell had finished talking.

Zack, who had been staring at his book, looked up. He closed his book, grabbed his bookbag, and walked out of the room following behind Mr. Mosbey.

"I take it you have seen your locker?" Mr. Mosbey asked once they got in the hallway.

Zack nodded.

"Why didn't you come and tell me right when you saw it?" Mr. Mosbey asked. His voice was filled with concern.

"I didn't... I didn't think to," Zack replied.

"What did you think... when you saw it?"

"Not... Not much of anything really."

"Well, I already found out who did it and they are being suspended for two weeks. Apparently he felt it would be a "funny joke". The janitor is cleaning your locker now."

Zack sighed, "Okay. I better get back to class."

"Wait, Zack!" Mr. Mosbey called out as Zack began to walk away.

Zack turned around, "Yeah?"

"Are you feeling alright? You're eyes seem very heavy. Have you slept at all?"

"I'm... I'm just a little tired."

"Why don't you go back to your room? You can sleep for a while and catch up on some of your make-up work."

Zack wanted to protest, but he was to exhausted, "Would that be okay?"

"Of course. But, if you're not feeling any better by tomorrow then you should go to the doctor."

Zack nodded, "Sure. Thanks, Mr. Mosbey."

Zack walked back to his room. Right when he got inside he shut the door behind him and got into bed. Within two minutes he was asleep.

* * *

"Thirteen more hours of observation and you should be good to go," Dr. Marcs said as he entered the room carrying bland looking soup on a tray.

"Yay," Cody replied in a sad voice.

"But, until then, here is some soup. Actually it's just broth with little pieces of chicken, but it's something."

"Ah, the joys of prison food."

"Yeah," Dr. Marcs laid the tray beside Cody, "Now eat up."

"I didn't keep the jell-o down. What makes you think I'll keep this down?"

"Correction! You didn't keep the jell-o down the first time. The second time was a success. You have also kept down vanilla pudding, smashed peas, and beef broth."

"Ugh! God, that sounds so disgusting when you say it all together."

Dr. Marcs laughed, "Then don't think about it and eat your soup. I'll be back in half an hour to make sure it's gone."

Cody sighed and began to eat.

* * *

The last thirteen hours went by far to fast for Cody and soon he was back in his cell.

"You alright?" Christopher asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Cody replied as he laid down on his cot and closed his eyes, quickly falling asleep.

_"Hey, Cody!" Bailey said happily as she walked up to him on the deck of the S.S. Tipton._

_"Bailey," A smile appeared on Cody's face, "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."_

_"Why would you think that?"_

_"Because... you're dead."_

_"I know. Sucks, doesn't it?" Bailey laughed._

_"It's not funny, Bailey."_

_"No, it's not. But it happened. No one can change it."_

_"I wish I could."_

_"Oh Cody, you're so sweet. I know you'd do anything for me."_

_Tears formed in Cody's eyes, "I miss you, Bailey. I never meant for any of this to happen."_

_"I miss you too, Cody. Goodbye."_

_"No! Bailey, wait! Don't go!"_

_Bailey didn't hear him, she was already gone._

* * *

**I know it's really short but today is my Mom's birthday and I don't have time to write a huge chapter right now. I'm sorry, but the next chapter will be longer, I promise!**  
** Thanks for the reviews:) You are all amazing!**


	10. Three

Carey had the cab driver drop her off two blocks away from the prison. She slowly walked towards the prison that held her son. She knew that she needed to visit him, _'He's my son,'_ She thought, _'I should be there for him.'_

She stopped as she neared the prison gates. It was as if she were frozen or that there was a glass wall in front of her, keeping her from moving forward. _'Come on, you can do it. He needs you.'_ She tried to convince herself but it didn't help. Tears streamed down her face as she turned her back to the prison- turned her back on her son- and walked away.

* * *

Zack had been back at the S.S. Tipton for three weeks. London had only spoken to him once, and Woody twice, but that was more Zack's fault then theirs.

Every day he got up, went to school, came back to his room, did _some_ homework, and slept. On weekends he stayed in his room and either slept or read the letters he had gotten from Cody.

The only time things seemed close to okay was when he would receive a letter from Cody. That didn't happen often enough. So far he had only gotten two letters from Cody and he had sent six. He understood though. It's difficult to receive letters when you're out in the middle of the ocean.

Zack sat at his desk re-reading the two letters for the thirty-second time. There was a knock at his door.

"Come in."

London entered carrying a tray of food, "Mosbey wanted me to bring this to you. He said its been a while since you last ate."

"Just sit it on my bed," Zack replied without moving his eyes from the letters.

London sat the food down and walked closer to Zack, "You don't wanna to be here do you?"

Zack looked up at her, "That obvious?"

"Hey, you don't have to be smart to realize you aren't happy."

"I hate being so far away from Cody. I know that Mom hasn't visited him at all and he has no one. When I went to see him he looked horrible. Like he was wasting away. I know what happened to Bailey was horrible, but Cody's still my brother."

"My room's weird." London said randomly, "All I ever wanted here was to have my own room, but now that I do, I kinda hate it."

Zack put his head in his hands, "Everything that happened just seems so wrong. Nothing makes sense anymore."

"I miss Cody too," London said with a sigh, "Without him here there is no one to do my homework."

That comment made Zack laugh. Something he hadn't done in a very long time.

"I tell you what," London continued, "I'm gonna give my Daddy a call and I can promise that our next stop will be Boston."

"Wha... Are you serious?"

"Why not? It'll take over a week to get there but once we do we can dock over night and you can visit Cody. How does that sound?"

Zack stood up from his desk chair and gave London a hug, "Thank you."

* * *

"Stop! Stop it!" Cody cried out in pain. He knew the screaming wouldn't help, but he couldn't remain quiet. It was too painful. "Please, stop," He continued, his voice becoming weaker. He could feel the cold pool of blood around his body, mixing with the water that poured from the shower heads. He felt the weight of one man lift off of him. He hoped it was over, but soon enough more weight was on him and the searing pain shot through his body again.

"No, no, no, no, n-" His voice was barely a whisper now, and soon enough he had no voice left at all. His eyes closed as he fell unconscious.

* * *

"What the hell took the guards so damn long to get there?"

"I don't know, sir."

"It's disgusting! This boy is seventeen years old! Three men had their way with him before anyone stopped it! Three!"

"I know, sir. But, he's gonna make it."

"Yeah, just barely."

Cody's eyes flickered open at the sound of Dr. Marcs and one of the nurses conversation but they didn't notice.

"There is only so much a person can deal with," Dr. Marcs continued, "What about when he gets out of here?... If he makes it out of here. He's gonna be so traumatized. It's just... It's sick! Those guards are paid to _guard_, but they just stand around and do nothing!"

"They don't all just stand around, sir. The ones who helped him are very good men."

"Yes. Very good men who had to go from one side of the prison to the other to help because the guards who were supposed to be at the showers weren't there!"

Cody tried to remain silent, but he had to cough. The sound of his cough made the nurse and the doctor slightly jump in surprise. "I'm going to make my rounds," The nurse said as she left the room.

Dr. Marcs walked over to Cody, "How long were you awake?"

"Long enough. How long was I asleep?"

"Four days. That was mostly my fault though. I gave you sedatives through your IV. Just stopped them this morning. How do you feel?"

"Foggy... and thirsty."

Dr. Marcs picked up a cup of water off of the tray that was by Cody's bed, "Here you go. It's new water, I promise." Cody tried to hold the cup by himself but his hands were shaking, so Dr. Marcs helped him. After Cody took a few sips of the water Dr. Marcs took the cup and placed it back on the tray.

"Three men?" Cody questioned, "I only remember two."

"You passed out."

"I guess that's a good thing then."

"Would you like me to bring the phone in here?" Dr. Marcs asked, "So you can call your attorney."

"Call her for what?"

"To tell her what happened."

Cody laughed a sad laugh, "What can she do? Get the men thrown in solitary for a few weeks? I don't think so. They just come out angrier than when they went in."

"Cody, you can't just let them get away with it."

"Dr. Marcs, most of the men here are here for twenty-five to life. They aren't afraid of anything. There is nothing my attorney can do. There is nothing anyone can do."

Dr. Marcs didn't know what to say. There really wasn't anything he could say. As hard as it was to admit it, Cody was right.

* * *

It took ten days for the S.S. Tipton to get to Massachusetts, docking in Salem. And thirty minutes for Zack to get from Salem to Boston.

"Who are you here to visit?" The officer behind the desk asked in a monotone voice.

"Cody Martin."

"Alright." He typed Cody's name into the computer, "He was discharged from the hospital today. I'll tell the guard to get him."

"Wait!" Zack called out, "Discharged from the hospital? What for?"

The officer sighed, "It's better to hear it from him, kid."

* * *

Ten minutes later Cody was walking down to where Zack was seated in the visitor's area. Cody had to walk slow because he was still healing. Under his eyes were dark from lack of sleep and he felt as though his insides were burning. Dr. Marcs fought to keep him in the hospital for a few more days, but he lost the battle and they made Cody go back to his cell.

Cody slowly sat down and looked at Zack, who was speechless.

"How did you get here?" Cody asked.

"I... uh, we docked in Salem not long ago. Just for the night."

"Oh, that's nice."

"Cody, what happ-"

"Have you seen Mom?" Cody asked, not letting Zack finish the sentence.

"No. The second we docked I came here. Cody, the officer out front told me you just got out of the hospital today. What happened?"

Cody shook his head, "It's no big deal. Just wasn't eating enough I guess."

"But you can barely walk or sit down."

"I... I'm just a little weak, that's all. I promise, I'm fine. So, how are you?"

Zack sighed. He knew Cody was lying, "I'm fine too."

"Is school going okay? No one is giving you a hard time, right?"

"It was tough at first, but it's okay now. They just ignore me."

"Ignoring is good. It's better than the alternative. Believe me."

"Cody, are you sure you're okay?"

"As good as I'm gonna be considering..."

Zack felt his eyes tearing up, "It's bad isn't it?"

Cody stared into Zack's eyes, "It's not good."

* * *

**Got my SAT scores back today... UGH! Let's just say I'm taking it again in March. The thing I don't get is that I get straight A's yet somehow I suck at the SAT's. Anyway... Please review and make me feel better :)  
Also, when I write London, I don't write her as dumb as they have her on the show. I sometimes think they go way overboard (no pun intended) with that.**


	11. Six

Thirty minutes later Zack left the prison feeling worse then before he had gone in. Cody hadn't told him the truth about what happened. Zack pushed and pushed for him to, but Cody just said no. After ten minutes of trying Zack decided it was best to leave it alone, so he changed the subject, even though not knowing what was happening to his brother was killing him.

_'Mom... I should go see Mom. I don't wanna go see Mom. Mom is acting like a baby. How could she not visit Cody? What a -'_

"Are you gettin' in or no, kid?" Zack was pulled out of his thoughts by the cab driver. He hadn't realized that he had hailed a taxi while he was thinking.

"S... Sorry." Zack got into the back seat.

"Were to?"

Zack thought for a moment then sighed, "Tipton Hotel."

* * *

_'He can't be... They wouldn't be...'_ Zack was in deep thought in the back of the cab, although the thoughts seemed to stop before they finished because Zack had ideas of what might be happening to his brother. They were just too horrible to think about, _'What if they are? I've heard about it on TV. Guys getting... raped in prison. No! No, it can't be! Stop, Zack! Just, stop thinking!... But, what if?'_

* * *

Zack stood outside of his hotel room. He had the key in his hand. One swipe of the card and he'd be inside. But, why was it so hard now? The thought of facing his Mom seemed to make him angry and exhausted. The angry part he understood, but not the exhaustion.

For five minutes he stood outside of the door contemplating whether or not he was actually going to go inside. He took a deep breath and swiped the card. As the door opened he noticed that Carey was standing by the couch with a startled look on her face, "Zack! You scared me! What are you doing here?" She walked over to give him a hug but stopped before she got too close. She knew that Zack would be mad at her and the last thing he would want was a hug.

"The shipped docked in Salem today."

"You should have told me. I would have come to pick you up. How long will you be here?"

"We leave tomorrow afternoon." He replied. His answers were very straight forward and to the point. He didn't say anything that didn't need to be said.

"That's not a very long time. I have your schedule... I thought you were supposed to be in Western Canada today?"

"Change of plans."

"Oh... Well, I'm glad you're here, even if it is just for one night."

Zack shook his head, "I'm not staying overnight."

"Why not? You said you don't leave until tomorrow afternoon-"

"I don't want to, Mom!" Zack suddenly exclaimed, "I'm not even sure why I came by at all! I don't want to see you! That's the last thing I want to do right now!"

The room was then filled with silence. Neither of them had moved from the positions they were at when they had begun talking. They just stood there, neither of them knowing what to say next. Zack wasn't sure how much time had passed, but it seemed like forever.

"I gotta go," He said. His voice was calmer than before, but still filled with anger. He turned around and held onto the doorknob, "I just came from visiting Cody... if you care. He looks horrible, by the way. I'm not sure but I think he's being raped," Zack was being extremely blunt, "What I am sure of is that he is being beaten... regularly. I know you won't go to see him, so I thought you might want an update. Goodbye." Zack left the hotel and headed back to the ship.

Carey stood in the hotel room staring at the door. She had been staring at Zack, but her eyes couldn't seem to move, so she just continued to stare. Her thoughts weren't clear, they were all jumbled as if they were a bowl of alphabet soup. She didn't know whether to cry, scream, throw something, or do all three. So, she stood there, for over an hour.

* * *

A guard approached Cody's cell, "Cody Martin."

Cody was sitting on his bed, reading a book. He looked up from the book, "Yes?"

"Your attorney is here. Come on."

"My attorney?" Cody questioned, "Why?"

The guard gave Cody a _"how should I know?"_ look, "I'm here to take you to her, that's all. Come on."

Cody got up with a sigh and headed to the conference room with the guard.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Cody asked once he was in the room with Jerica.

"I need to talk to you."

"About what?"

"Come over here," She motioned to the chair across from her, "Sit." Her voice was calm and kind, something he hadn't been used to hearing.

He sat down and repeated the question, "About what?"

"How long have you been here, Cody?"

Cody placed his elbows on the table and rubbed his eyes, "I don't know... forever... Why?"

"You've been here for 9 months and two days."

"And?" Cody asked, raising his hands in question.

"And you haven't been in any trouble."

"Depends on who you ask," Cody mumbled.

Jerica sighed, "What I mean is that you haven't caused any trouble."

"I'm sorry, is there a point to this?"

"Yes, there is. Believe it or not, judges take notice of those kinds of things."

Cody thought for a moment, "Can I ask you something?"

Jerica nodded, "Of course."

"At the beginning when I was... hurt by those men," Cody stopped.

"I remember."

"You said they would be in solitary for six months. It wasn't even a full month until they were out. Why?"

"Unfortunately, judges take notice of that too... If solitary becomes full they will allow certain prisoners out to put other in. However, whoever that judge was, is not the judge that took notice of your records."

"Yay," Cody said with zero happiness in his voice.

"If you go for the next six months and don't cause any trouble then you have the possibility of getting out."

This information made Cody's eyes widen, but he remained silent.

Jerica continued, "You would be on probation for a year, then you would be free."

"Are... Are you serious?" Cody asked in disbelief.

"I am."

"In six months..."

"You could be back in your own bed, wearing your own clothes, and living a normal life."

Cody's eyes began to fill with tears, but it was almost a reflex now to hold them back because you don't cry in prison. He took a deep breath and replied in a quiet tone, "I don't know if I remember what that's like."

* * *

**Christmas is over in 12 minutes :( Well, I had a great one and I hope everyone else did too! **  
**Thank you all for the reviews! They mean the world to me. **  
**God bless you all! Merry Christmas!**


	12. Expelled

Zack hurried back to the ship. The moment he got to his room he let go of the tears he had been holding in. He sunk down to the floor with his back against his door. He pulled his knees up close to his chest and buried his head into his hands. He was crying so hard that he was close to hyperventilating. He wasn't sure what he was crying over. Was it his Mom? Was it Cody? Was it because he was so tired all the time? Was it all of the above? He felt so overwhelmed. His whole life was changed because of a moment that he couldn't even remember.

He continued to cry for hours. He didn't even realize when he had moved from his floor to his bed. He fell asleep as he cuddled his brothers blanky, tears still falling from his eyes.

* * *

"Six months? Really?"

"That's what she said."

"That's crazy kid!" Christopher and Cody we're lying in their beds talking. It was around eight fifty-five. Almost time for lights out.

"...I know. I don't deserve it."

"Come on. Don't start talking like that. Every one deserves a second chance... Okay, maybe not the guys in cell blocks 4 and 8... but everyone else."

Cody laughed... It was a forced laugh, but a laugh nonetheless.

"You deserve it," Christopher continued, "If I had the chance to get out of here... Man, things would be different for me. I'd get a job, find a wife, have a family. I'd have one of those picture perfect two story houses with the picket fence... And I'd find the families of the people I killed and I'd apologize. Yeah, I'd be a whole different guy. You'll have that chance, Cody. Take it, run, and don't look back."

"You're right. Thanks... Oprah."

"Oh, don't make me start havin' to beat you up," Christopher joked.

"Lights out!" The guard yelled. Everything went dark. Cody turned on his side and was soon sound asleep.

_"I hear you get out soon," Bailey said with a smile as she and Cody sat on swings at a playground._

_He looked around, "How did I get here?"_

_"Same way I did. Your head, silly. So, what are you gonna do?"_

_"When?"_

_"When you get out."_

_Cody sighed, "I don't know. Live on the street somewhere. Mom hates my guts so I can't go home. Zack's back at Seven Seas High and there is no way I'd ever be allowed back there."_

_Bailey shook her head, "You're so negative, Cody. When did that happen? You used to be happy."_

_"...That was before I killed you. I'm sorry, Bailey. I am so sorry."_

_"Would you stop it," Bailey replied. She was obviously annoyed but her voice remained calm, "I ignored you the last two times you tried to apologize. Why would I let you do it now? You don't need my forgiveness, Cody. You need to forgive yourself. Things won't get better until you do."_

_"I... I can't."_

_"You can."_

Cody's eyes open suddenly. He wasn't ready for the dream to end, but the dream was apparently ready to be over.

He sighed as he moved to lie on his back. He winced at the pain that still remained in his body. Tears once again stung his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. Even when it was dark it was never okay to cry in prison.

* * *

Two weeks went by. Zack was becoming more and more reclusive. He picked two classes to go to every day then he went back to his room and slept. He didn't do his homework and he didn't socialize whatsoever.

Mr. Mosbey knocked on Zack's door. It was the conversation had been avoiding for a while, but knew it couldn't wait any longer.

Zack slowly got out of bed and moved his blankets to cover over Cody's blanky. When he reached the doorknob it seemed as though he almost lacked the strength to turn it, but he did.

"Hey, Mosbey," He said sleepily.

"Zack, do you mind if I come in?"

Zack moved out of the way so Mr. Mosbey could come inside.

"Is something wrong?" Zack asked.

"No... Well, yes I am afraid so."

Zack was suddenly more alert, "Is it Cody?"

"No, no, nothing like that. It's about you."

"Oh... The whole not going to school thing?"

Mr. Mosbey nodded, "That would be it."

"Yeah, I figured that would come up eventually."

"What's the matter Zack? I know you have never been a fan of school, but it has never been this bad."

"Honestly?"

"That would be nice."

Zack sighed and sat on his bed, "I have no idea what's wrong. I mean, I do, but I don't."

Mr. Mosbey pulled Zack's desk chair near Zack and sat down, "Care to explain?"

"Some of it is Cody. Some of it is Mom. Some of it is my lack of memory... But I just keep getting more and more tired. Everything I do makes me tired. Turning door knobs, chewing, writing, typing, talking, walking to the bathroom. It exhausts me."

"Have you gone to the doctor?"

Zack shook his head, "No. I don't feel sick. And what's weird is that when I went to see Cody two weeks ago... I wasn't tired then. Not until I left to go see Mom. The thought of visiting her made me want to lie down on the sidewalk and sleep for a few hours. But going to see Cody, I never felt tired."

"Zack," Mr. Mosbey replied, "It sounds to me as though you are depressed. Have you told your Carey how you're feeling?"

"Oh please! You can't tell her anything anymore."

"Zack, you are failing school. It seems to me as though you don't want to be here anymore-"

"I don't," Zack agreed.

"I'll call Carey and talk to her. You haven't officially been expelled from school yet, but you are very close... However, if this is what you want, I can tell her that you were expelled already."

"Seriously! You'd do that?" Zack said with wide eyes and a voice filled with excitement.

"I've never seen someone get happy about it before, but yes."

"I'd get to go home? I'd be able to visit Cody?"

Mr. Mosbey nodded, "I will call her tomorrow morning. Start packing."

"Okay!"

Mr. Mosbey headed out of the room.

"Wait!" Zack yelled back.

"Yes?"

"Thank you, Mr. Mosbey."

"You're quite welcome."

Zack pulled out his suitcases from under his bed and began throwing his stuff into them. He suddenly had a burst of energy... Something he hadn't had in a while.

* * *

**Wasn't really sure where to end the chapter, so I decided to end here! Not a big cliffhanger, but consider it a calm before the storm, maybe? **  
**Anyway, let me know if you enjoyed! **


	13. Listen

"He's what?" Carey exclaimed as she and Mr. Mosbey talked over the phone.

"He's been expelled."

"Is... Is this some kind of a joke? If it is then it's not funny!"

"It's not a joke, Carey. He barely shows up for his classes, doesn't do his homework, and doesn't show any attempt at wanting to learn."

Carey couldn't believe it, "I just... When's he coming home?"

"Well, we dock in Miami next week. He'll fly from there to Boston... Carey, there is something I think is more urgent then Zack being expelled."

"Oh, please just one disaster at a time."

"He feels that he can barely function. He says that the simplest things make him tired. I think he's depressed."

Carey was silent for a moment before replying, "How long has this been going on?"

"Quite some time."

"Why hasn't he mentioned it to me?"

"That's another thing," Mr. Mosbey continued, "He doesn't feel that he can."

"He doesn't... What would make him think that?"

"I think that's something you need to discuss with him. Carey, I have to go but I will call you later on this week for more details about exactly when Zack will get there."

"Okay. Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

* * *

One week passed and soon Zack was back home.

The ride back to the Tipton was quiet and awkward. It wasn't until they got inside the hotel room that Zack spoke, "I'll be in my room."

"No, you won't. Sit," Carey replied as she pointed to the couch.

Zack sighed, dropped his luggage, and sat down on the couch, "What?"

"What?" Carey repeated, "What do you mean "what?"? Do you even realize what you've done? You've been expelled, Zack!"

"I know."

"That's it? You know... You don't have anything else to say?"

"What would you like me to say?" Zack asked with a much too calm voice.

"Why? Tell me why you stopped going doing your homework! Tell me why you stopped going to school! Tell me why Mr. Mosbey has to be the one to inform me that you are constantly tired and you may be depressed. Give me some answers!"

Zack glared at her, "Why should I? You won't listen!" He exclaimed. His anger beginning to show more.

"What makes you think I won't listen to you?"

Zack stood up to be at eye level with Carey, "Because you never do anymore! My problem involves Cody, but you don't want to hear anything about him. You won't even acknowledge him as your son anymore! I've gone to visit him. I've been there and I've seen his bruises and the weird way he has to walk and sit down because he's been hurt so badly. And I've seen how sad he looks when you're mentioned! But, when I start to tell him that you're wrong, you know what he does? He takes up for you! You may not think of Cody as your son anymore but he's still my brother! He's my best friend! I may have always given him a hard time, but that's just what brothers do. I love him and I hate seeing him hurting! I told you I didn't want to leave him! I told you I didn't want to go back to the ship! But you didn't listen!" With tears stinging his eyes, Zack quickly walked to his room, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Carey waited a few minutes before going into Zack's room to talk to him.

"I'm sorry," She said as she stood in the doorway. Zack was lying on his bed, facing the wall. "I know that isn't enough, but I hope that it's an okay place to start." She walked over to his bed and sat down on the side. "Can I explain my side to you?"

Zack didn't reply.

"Okay. Well, if yes, then will you turn in my direction?"

After a few seconds Zack turned over onto his other side. However he wouldn't look at her, he looked past her, but she could tell he was willing to listen.

"Thank you." Carey took a deep breath before beginning, "I always tried my hardest to be a good Mom. To keep you boys safe, but not be too overprotective. I've always been so proud of both you and Cody. Yeah, you both messed up from time to time, but they were just little things. Things that could be fixed with a lecture from me and some time away from TV and video games. But then... When I got the phone call about you and Cody I just... my heart fell. I got to California as fast as I could. I didn't know that Cody had been the one driving then. I found that out once I got there. I saw you in that hospital bed," Tears fell from Carey's eyes, "They didn't know if you'd make it or not. I was sitting with you when the police came into the room. I had been told earlier that Cody was okay, and he had been taken to the police station to give a description of what happened to the cops. Anyway, when they came inside the room I knew something horrible was about to happen. They told me that Cody was being arrested because he was driving under the influence, which killed Bailey in the process. At that moment I felt like the biggest failure. I failed at being a good parent. I failed Cody and I failed you... I've tried to go see Cody. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid that he'll hate me because I didn't teach him well enough. I should have done better. I'm sorry."

There was silence. It was a full minute before Zack spoke.

"Sounds like a cop-out to me."

Carey looked at Zack. Confusion was written all over her face.

"You're scared to see him," Zack explained, "You don't want the fact that Cody is in prison to fully hit you. Right now, in your head, you can still think of him as the same Cody he always was. If you go see him all those thoughts will be wiped away with how he looks, acts, and feels now. I'm not saying I don't believe everything you just told me, because I do. But I also know that there is more to it that that."

Carey nodded, "You're right. I am scared to see him. I'm terrified." Carey began to sob, "He's my little boy. I don't want to see him hurting."

Zack sat up and gave Carey a hug. Tears fell from his eyes as he silently cried as well. The hug lasted a couple of minutes until they had both stopped crying.

"I... I better go start dinner," Carey said as she wiped the tears from her face.

"...Or we could order pizza," Zack replied, remembering his Mom's horrible cooking.

Carey smiled, "Sounds better."

As she began to walk out of the room Zack stopped her, "Mom."

She turned around, "Yeah?"

"If you want, I could go with you... to see Cody, I mean. Whenever you're ready."

"Thank you, sweetie."

* * *

_Three days later..._

Carey stepped out of the taxi cab. Zack was at home doing school work. He was going to be homeschooled for the rest of the school year, seeing as there was only one month left. She told him she was going to go run some errands... Which she did plan to do. But she needed to make a more important stop first.

"Who are you here to see?" The officer behind the counter asked.

"Cody Martin."

* * *

**Okay, so the next chapter will continue right where this one left off, but after that the story will skip ahead. The reason why: That's how I wrote it :) Just wanted to give y'all a little warning/spoiler with that. **  
**Anyway, let me know what you think. Just press that little button right down there... Yupp, you see it ;)**


	14. Smile

Carey anxiously waited for Cody to be brought in by one of the guards. Her heart was pounding and she was trying to control her shaking hands. She took deep breaths to try and stop her heart from beating so fast. She was looking down at her hands as she dwindled with her fingers. She didn't even hear Cody approach.

"Mom?" He said as he stood in disbelief.

Her head popped up, "Cody! H... Hi." She was shocked by his appearance. He didn't even look like the same boy anymore. He was so pale, so scrawny, so... different.

Cody slowly sat down, not taking his eyes off of his mom, "Hi... I... I didn't think you would be the one here."

"I couldn't stay away any longer." Carey smiled, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

"I'm... I'm glad you're here."

"Really?" She asked, her eyes filling with tears.

Cody nodded, "I've missed you."

Carey couldn't hold back her tears, "I've missed you too. I'm so sorry I didn't come sooner, honey. I was afraid you'd hate me and wouldn't want me here."

"Hate you? How could I hate you? I'm the idiot."

"But I'm your Mom. I'm supposed to protect you. I'm supposed to teach you how to be responsible. I didn't do my job."

Cody couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Mom, the only thing you ever did wrong was put salt in your home made applesauce." They both laughed for a moment, then Cody sighed, "What I did... That was my decision. Mine. You shouldn't think for a second that any of this is your fault."

"...Cody, I can't believe you are in prison and you're giving me a pep talk."

Cody smiled and for a second, just for a second, Carey saw the the little boy she always knew. Her Cody who couldn't wait for her hugs. Who made casseroles for her so she wouldn't have to cook. Who ran to her when he got hurt, whether it was a tiny scrape or a broken arm. Now he was locked behind bars. He couldn't run to her when he was in pain. She couldn't hug him...

"Mom. Mom? You okay?"

Carey was brought out of her thoughts, "Oh. I'm fine... How are you?"

"I'm... I'm okay." That was probably the biggest lie he ever told. He was anything but _"okay"_. "I have something I need to tell you though. I didn't want to before, but now that you've come to see me... You should know."

"Okay."

"I could... In six months I... I could get out."

Carey's eyes widened, "What? Are you serious?"

"That's what Jerica told me. She said because of my good behavior I could get released early."

"That's great!... Why weren't you going to tell me before?"

"Well, how you thought I'd hate you... I thought you'd hate me. I figured you wouldn't want me to come home."

"Of course I want you home," Carey replied, "I want that more than anything else."

Cody smiled, "I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, sweetie."

They kept talking for a few more minutes until the guard returned to take Cody back to his cell.

* * *

Carey entered the hotel carrying a couple bags of groceries, "Hi, honey," She said to Zack, who was sitting on the couch.

"Hey Mom. Where have you been?"

"Shopping."

"For this long?"

Carey smiled, "I had to make a pit stop... I saw Cody."

Zack couldn't believe it, "You... You what?"

"I saw Cody."

"And... And you're smiling? Are you sure you saw the right kid?"

Carey walked over to the couch and sat down. The smile had now faded. "I'm sure. I can see what you were so worried about. He does not look... like himself anymore. But, I am happy. Maybe not the happiest person alive, but I'm happy."

"Why?"

"Cody doesn't hate me. He knows I don't hate him. And in six months you could be sharing a room again."

"What... What do you mean? Are... Are you pregnant?" There was a look of disgust on Zack's face that Carey couldn't help but laugh at.

"No, no I'm not. Cody may be able to come home in six months."

"You're kidding?"

Carey shook her head, "I thought it was a joke at first too. It's true though."

Zack smiled, "That's great!"

"I know... Zack, I want to thank you for giving me the strength to go see Cody."

"What do you mean?"

"If it wasn't for you letting me know how selfish I was being, I wouldn't have gone to see him. He wouldn't have told me he would be coming home, and he would probably end up out on the streets somewhere. Thank you."

"No problem."

* * *

Cody laid down in his bed. It was the first night since he had arrived at the prison that he felt... relaxed. He didn't feel great, or happy, or comfortable. Just relaxed... Maybe not the "lay back in the recliner and take a nap" relaxed, but he was able to breathe a little better. He knew that once he got out of prison he would have a place to go. He knew that his Mom didn't hate him... However, that didn't stop him from hating himself.

I killed someone. I shouldn't get freedom. How am I supposed to just go on with my life when Bailey can never do that?... This is wrong.

* * *

**Small chapter, but that's how I intended it to be... Next chapter jumps ahead. **  
** Thank you guys for the reviews! I love them :) If I could, I would write a special song for all of you just to show my thanks... But I'm not going to, so I'll just quote Barney, "I love you. You love me. We're best friends like friends should be. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. Won't you say you love me too?" **  
** Okay, you don't have to tell me you love me, but still you should review ;)**


	15. Worse

Memories are in **bold**.

* * *

"Ready to go?" The officer asked Cody as he waited in a holding cell.

"They're here?"

The officer nodded, "Waiting outside. They brought you some clothes to change into," He handed Cody a bag, "Once you're changed I'll walk you out."

"Okay."

* * *

Five minutes later they were walking down a long hallway, "You know, they nicknamed this hallway the 'Hallway to Freedom'."

"Really?" Cody replied, "Who's "they"?"

"The men who have walked down it more than once."

They reached the end of the hallway, but before opening the door, the officer stopped, "This is your second chance. Don't screw it up... And don't ever let me see you again. Okay?"

Cody nodded, "Deal. Thank you."

"You're welcome." The officer opened the door and Cody stepped outside.

Standing a little ways back was Zack and Carey. A smile went across all three of their faces.

Cody began to walk over to them, but Carey ran to him meeting him half way. She immediately embraced him in a long, warm hug. It seemed to last forever but neither of them cared.

Once she let him go it was Zack's turn. "I missed you," He whispered as he hugged his brother.

"I missed you too."

Zack was very happy to see his brother, but he was also concerned. When Zack hugged him, it was like he could feel every bone in Cody's body. His clothes just hung on him. He didn't seem the least bit healthy.

The whole ride to the Tipton, Cody wanted one thing: To get out of the car. He felt like he was suffocating. The cab seemed so small. Taxi's had never bothered him before... He grew up riding in them. But now, it seemed so closed up, so tiny. He hated it.

And the elevator. Going up twenty-three floors in that little space. No windows. No way out until the doors decided it was time.

_'Why are elevators so small?'_ Cody asked himself on the ride up, _'Why is it bothering me? I've been in this elevator thousands of times.'_

Finally they were on their floor. What only took forty-five seconds seemed like hours to Cody. But now it was over and he could breathe again.

"You excited?" Carey asked as they walked to their room.

Cody smiled, "Yeah. It'll be nice to sleep in my own bed."

"It'll be nice to have you there," Carey replied. She put her arm around him and gave him a side hug as Zack opened the door.

They walked into the room. Cody being the last one inside. He stopped right after walking in and just looked around. The place that he had walked and ran through so many times, yet never really noticed, meant so much right now. He hadn't paid attention to how his Mom made it feel so homey. And the smell. It smelled so... clean. He hadn't ever noticed how clean it smelled.

"All of your stuff is in your room," Carey began, "Your computer, your clothes, everything."

"Okay," Cody replied.

"I figured we'd go out to dinner tonight. I have work at eight but if we go around six then we should be fine."

"We don't have to do that, Mom. I can just eat whatever."

"Not much of anything here," Zack chimed in. He was seated on the couch.

"He's right," Carey agreed, "I haven't had time to go to the store. I was gonna do that tomorrow. Did you not want to go out? We could order in instead."

"It doesn't matter," Cody shrugged, "Whatever's fine."

"Alright. We'll go out then."

Cody was still standing by the door. He wasn't sure what to do.

"Are you okay?" Carey asked. She was leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Yeah, I'm fine... I think I'm gonna get a shower and lay down for a while."

Carey smiled, "Okay, honey."

Cody went into his bedroom and got out a pair of pajamas, then he went into the bathroom. He turned on the water and got undressed. He looked at his scrawny body in the mirror, tracing his fingers over his sunken in stomach. It looked as though he had been starved for months. Thankfully his face didn't look as bad as the rest of him. He could hide his bony body from his family.

He got into the shower and let the warm water run on him. For a moment he felt peaceful. He was alone in the shower... Not surrounded by ten to twenty other men yelling at him, laughing at him, and raping him.

Horrible memories flashed into Cody's mind. Lying on the shower floor. Being held down by men who were much bigger than him.

**"Please! Please don't!"**

**Shrieking at the top of his lungs, "NO!"**

**"Stop! Stop it!"**

**"No, no, no, no-"**

"Cody? Cody?"

Cody was pulled out of his terrible memories by the sound of knocking on the bathroom door and his Mom's voice.

Cody turned off the water, "Yeah?"

"Are you okay, honey? It's been twenty-five minutes."

_'Twenty five minutes? It didn't feel that long.'_

"I'm fine... I'm getting out now."

He dried off and headed right for his room. He didn't even notice Carey who was sitting at their kitchen table.

He stopped at the doorway when he saw Zack inside the room.

Zack looked over at him, "Hey. Just getting my laptop, then I'll be out of your way and you can lay down."

"It's fine," Cody replied. He walked over to his bed and began pulling back the covers.

"So, I guess you didn't turn into a prune."

"What?" Cody asked with a confused look on his face.

"You were in the shower for forever. I told Mom that you probably turned into a prune."

Cody couldn't help but laugh, "You're weird."

"Yeah, so are you... Okay, I'm out. Nighty-night." Zack went to shut the door behind him.

Suddenly Cody began to panic, "Wait!"

Zack opened the door back up, "What?"

"Don't... Don't shut it. Just leave it half way open."

Zack nodded, "Okay." He did as Cody said, and even though he was slightly confused, he decided not to ask questions.

* * *

"Zack, would you go wake Cody up?" Carey asked, "We leave for dinner in twenty minutes."

"Sure."

"Thank you. I'm gonna go downstairs real quick to make sure my schedule hasn't been changed. I'll be right back."

"Okay."

Zack walked into the bedroom. He began to walk over to Cody's bed but stopped when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He looked over to find Cody asleep on his bed.

_'Weird,'_ Zack thought to himself.

Zack went over to his bed and put his hand on Cody's shoulder, gently shaking him, "Cody. Cody, wake up."

Cody didn't wake but Zack could tell he was not soundly sleeping. Cody's closed eyes were quickly moving back and forth. And the hard, deep breaths Cody took let Zack know that he was most likely having a nightmare.

Zack shook him a little harder, "Cody!" He said a more loudly than before, "Come on! Wake up!"

Cody's eyes popped open and he gasped, "Stop it!" he screamed as he jerked away from Zack.

Zack took a step back in shock, "Whoa. It's just me."

Cody sat up and began taking deep breaths, "I'm... I'm sorry. I... I had a nightmare."

"Yeah, I figured that out... Mom wanted me to wake you up. You've been asleep for four hours and we leave in twenty minutes."

Cody nodded, "Okay." He stood up and for a moment he was so dizzy that he thought he would have to hurry and sit back down, but the dizziness faded and he was able to remain standing. He noticed the still slightly shocked look on Zack's face, "I really am sorry," He repeated as he walked over to his dresser to get some clothes.

"Don't worry about it. It's fine," Zack replied calmly. "...You do realize you were sleeping on _my_ bed, right?"

"Oh, yeah... I," Cody looked over at his bed, "... I couldn't see outside of the room from my bed so I moved. Sorry."

Zack sighed inwardly, "You don't have to apologize. Our beds are identical. It's not like I have a better mattress or something. Both mattresses suck."

Cody laughed, "They're not too bad..." He replied, then his laughter faded, "Better than the alternative anyway."

"Yeah, I bet." There was an awkward, short silence before Zack spoke again, "Well, once you're dressed we'll go. I'll be out there."

Zack walked out of the room and sat down on the couch. He put his head in his hands and sighed. He couldn't help but have a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. _'Come on, it was just a nightmare. Everyone has nightmares. You're worried over nothing... But it's not nothing. It's more than just a nightmare... This is something worse... Much worse.'_

* * *

**I'm glad you all enjoyed my little Barney song from my last post :) Because you enjoyed it, and you reviewed, here is a little poem for you: 'It's always fun to write a story and post it for strangers to see. We gather together and become one for a moment while we sit and read. Yes, writing is great and reading is too, but it means nothing without you.  
****Without a review I don't know whether the story is a "Yay me!" or "Crappy!". So click that button and write a review****, even if it's to say, "Hey, I hate this story. Why the heck you writin' yo?"'**  
** Okay, so that was probably the worst poem ever written, but if you click on that button right below this after reading it then you'll realize how awesome I am that this crappy poem actually made you review... Or not... Whatever ;)**


	16. Night

Cody's first four nights back were anything but easy. He woke up with horrible nightmares every night. Sometimes, even after he was awake, he could feel the men holding him down. He could hear them laughing at him. He could see them. It would only last for a couple of seconds after he woke up. Just until he could remember where he was. Thankfully he hadn't woken up screaming... yet. Carey and Zack were unaware of these nightmares, and he hoped to keep it that way.

He and Zack had changed beds. Zack told him that he would rather sleep in the other bed, but it was really because he saw the look in Cody's eyes when they were about to go to sleep that first night. Cody kept looking towards the door to make sure it was open. Zack didn't want to embarrass him so he just said that he liked where Cody's bed was. It was a bad excuse, but Cody didn't seem to notice.

There was something else just as bad as his nightmares... The elevator. He hated using it. It was like a forty-five second torture ride every time he got on. His heart would start pounding on the way to get on it, and by the time he reached the elevator doors his palms were sweating and he could barely breathe. On his third day back he and Carey were going to go to the grocery store. As Carey go onto the elevator Cody used the excuse that he had forgotten something inside of the room and he would meet her in the lobby. He used the stairs for the first twenty-two floors down, equaling forty-four flights of stairs, then on the second floor he got on the elevator just so his Mom wouldn't know what he had done. That cut his torture ride down to only five seconds.

Taxi's were tough to endure. He found himself having to roll down the window every time he got into one. Right now he could get by with it, but soon it would start to get cold. No one wants a window rolled down when it's twenty below outside.

The worst part is that he couldn't understand why he felt this way. He could understand the nightmares. He hated them, but he understood them. He didn't understand why he hated elevators and taxi cabs. It was a horrible feeling. Being afraid of everything that you once thought nothing of. He thought everything would slowly become better as each day passed, but it just got progressively worse.

Carey had tried to get him enrolled in Boston High School, but the fact that he had a record didn't go over well with the principal. He didn't say that Cody couldn't go there, but Carey could tell by the look on his face that he didn't _want_ Cody there. To be honest, Carey didn't want him there either. Zack had told her that they all knew about Cody. They would say little things to him about his brother being a killer. Zack would always defend Cody, but it didn't really help. What Zack didn't tell Carey is that he was often bullied because of Cody. Being elbowed into a locker was almost a regular thing now. No one sat by him at lunch, no one talked to him unless they were saying something cruel. Needless to say both he and Cody were probably having the worst senior year ever.

Cody was going to be homeschooled but Zack would remain at Boston High. If Carey had known about Zack being bullied then he wouldn't have been there anymore. But Zack didn't want her knowing. She had enough going on right now. They all did.

Tonight Carey was working late. Some extremely rich couple wanted to have a midnight wedding and they chose her to sing at the reception. She wouldn't be home until after three.

Before, this would have been a perfect opportunity for Zack and Cody to stay up late, play video games, and eat whatever they wanted. But not anymore. Now they were just tired. They got into bed and quickly fell asleep.

_"Hold him down. Keep him quiet!"_

_"No!"_

_"Shut up!"_

_"I go first. You can go after me."_

_"Please! NO!"_

_"Hold his legs! I don't want him squirming."_

_"Ah! Oh God! Stop! STOP!"_

"No! No!"

"Cody! Cody, wake up! Cody!" Zack grabbed Cody's shoulders and began shaking him, "Wake up! You're dreaming!"

"Stop it! You're hurting me! Stop!" Cody screamed, still stuck in his nightmare.

"Cody, wake up, now! You're freakin' me out! Wake up!"

"Stop!" Cody screamed one last time before his eyes popped open. His stomach churned violently. He quickly broke free from Zack's grasp and ran for the bathroom. He just made it to the toilet before throwing up everything that was once in his stomach.

Zack stood in the bathroom doorway. He leaned up against the side of the doorway as he waited for Cody to finish.

Once Cody was done he flushed the toilet and leaned back against the bathtub. That's when he noticed Zack standing there. "What?" He asked as Zack stood there staring at him.

"What?" Zack repeated, "What the hell was that?" He asked as he pointed towards their bedroom.

"Just a nightmare."

"Just a nightmare?"

"Stop repeating me!"

Zack rolled his eyes, "That was not "just a nightmare". That was something much more than "just a nightmare"."

"Stop saying "just a nightmare". It's annoying."

"Stop trying to ignore what I'm asking you."

"What are you asking?"

"What the hell was that?" Zack repeated, his voice louder this time.

"It was... It was nothing. No big deal."

Cody stood up and began to rinse his mouth out with Listerine. Zack wouldn't leave. He wouldn't even take his eyes off of Cody.

"Stop staring at me!" Cody yelled once he spit the Listerine out.

"Stop lying to me! What happened to you at prison? I know they beat you up but what else did they do?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. We were all the best of friends. Tea parties every week." Cody tried to leave the bathroom but Zack blocked him in.

"I'm serious, Cody."

"Get out of my way," Cody said angrily. His heart began racing and his palms started sweating.

"No. You think I don't see you wake up every night? You think I can't tell when you're just staring outside of our room. You barely eat. You barely sleep. You barely do anything anymore. What happened?"

Cody glared at Zack, "I said get out of my way. Now!"

Zack stared into Cody's eyes. There was something more than anger in them. It was fear. He was scared of Zack. He was afraid of him. Zack moved out of Cody's way and although the anger didn't disappear from Cody's eyes, the fear did.

Why was Cody afraid of Zack not letting him out of the bathroom? Doesn't he know that Zack would never hurt him? Maybe it wasn't Zack he was afraid of... Maybe he was afraid of being trapped.

* * *

**Not much to say this time. I don't have any awesome poems or songs for you... I know how you guys love them ;)**  
** Thanks again for the reviews. Y'all are like fried chicken, mashed potatoes, apple pie, and sweet tea!... (I guess I did have something awesome to tell you :D)**  
** Let me know what you think of chapter 16!**


	17. Scared

The next few days went by without any major problems. Cody still had his nightmares, but he woke up each time without making a sound.

Cody didn't remain mad at Zack. He quickly got over it and even helped Zack with his homework one night.

Zack, however, was dying for some answers. He wanted to be there for Cody. He wanted to help him, but how could he when Cody wouldn't tell what was wrong? Even though Zack wanted Cody to talk to him, he decided not to ask questions. When Cody was ready to talk, he'd talk, and Zack would be there to listen.

* * *

It was a Saturday afternoon and Zack and Cody had decided to go to the store with Carey. They were on the fifth aisle when Cody heard a voice. He looked over quickly and saw that he didn't know who the man was... But his voice. It was so familiar. It sounded so much like... like the first man who attacked him in prison. The first man who raped him. He never found out what that mans name was, but the voice... He'd never forget that voice.

_'It's not him. It's not him. It's not him,'_ Cody kept thinking over and over, trying to calm himself. His heart was racing and he began to have a panic attack, _'Stop it! Stop it! Get over it! You're acting crazy,'_ He thought as he looked down at the ground.

"Cody."

Cody's head popped up at the sound of his Mom's voice, "Yeah?"

"You okay?"

Cody nodded, "Fine. Why?"

"I was talking to you and I turned to look at you and you weren't there. Zack's waiting on the next aisle for us."

"Oh... Sorry, I must not have been paying attention," Cody smiled, trying to hide his fear.

"It's okay. You sure you're okay?"

"I'm sure."

Cody sighed inwardly. He was glad his Mom had decided to leave it at that and not ask more questions.

* * *

The moment they got home Cody went to his room. He felt like slamming the door shut, but he couldn't. He couldn't slam it shut because then he'd have to open it right back up. He couldn't handle for the door to be closed... ever. He could barely handle the bathroom door being shut. And he never locked the bathroom door... Never!

He laid on his bed and shut his eyes. They quickly re-opened. Sometimes that happened. He would begin to feel like he was trapped sometimes when his eyes closed. It didn't happen alot, but when it did... it was scary.

He took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes again. He fell asleep within minutes. This time he didn't dream about being raped by those men. This time his dream was a different memory. It was when he and Christopher talked about why they were in prison.

_"You know what the funny thing is?" Christopher asked._

_"What?"_

_"The gun I used, I could have pawned and made a good hundred bucks off of it. Maybe even more."_

_They both laid in silence._

_"What about you?" Christopher asked after a few minutes, "What's your whole story?"_

_"Ugh... It's a long story."_

_"Kid, we've got nothing but time."_

_Cody sighed "...My friend London and my girlfriend Bailey wanted to go shopping. I was going to go with them, but my brother didn't want to go. He convinced London to let us drop her and Bailey off and let us take her car. I didn't want to go with Zack... but I did. We went to this party and there was alot of drinking going on. I didn't want to drink-"_

_"Let me guess," Christopher interrupted, "You gave in, totalled the car, and that's how the girl died?"_

_"That's the way I told it to my attorney."_

_"It's not the truth?"_

_"The car was totalled, and... and Bailey died. But, I didn't give in." Cody was silent for a moment before continuing, "Zack drank that night... He drank quite a bit. I went to him and told him it was time to go. I told him it was time to pick up Bailey and London. I tried to take the keys away from him, but I couldn't. Zack has always been stronger than me. Slightly drunk Zack is alot stronger. He didn't seem that bad off though. He got to the mall just fine. I was sitting in the back seat because Bailey always had to sit up front. She got car sick if she didn't. She got in and we started to drive off...London wanted to shop more so she didn't come. Anyway, Bailey smelled the beer on Zack. I told her that he had been drinking. She tried to get him to pull over, but he wouldn't. She threatened to jump out of the car. I guess he just couldn't concentrate because he swerved and the next thing I knew I was opening my eyes and Zack was laying in the back seat. Somehow during the crash he got thrown backwards. I moved up to the drivers seat to check on Bailey. She was... She was already gone. I was freaking out. It was my fault. All of it."_

_"Wait a minute," Christopher said, "You weren't driving? You shouldn't be here, kid."_

_"Yes, I should. Zack was drunk, he wasn't thinking clearly. I wasn't drunk. I could have stopped him. I could have done something. I could have not gotten in the car. I could have stopped Bailey from getting in, but I didn't... When the police came I told them I was driving. They didn't do a breathalyzer test because I told them I had been drinking. I didn't know if Zack was going to live and I hoped that, if he did, he wouldn't remember what happened. Today I found out that he didn't remember... It's my fault that it happened. It's my fault she's dead. I deserve to be here."_

Cody woke up and looked at the clock. It was six p.m.. He laid there thinking about his dream for a few minutes, then, to get his mind off of things, decided to go take a shower.

He turned on the water, but before getting undressed he closed the toilet lid and sat down. He put his head in his hands as he slouched over. Instead of getting his mind off of things, his mind began to crowd with problems.

I can barely sleep. I can barely eat. I feel like hell. I look like hell. I want to cry... I can't cry. No. Crying is bad!.. I'm so sick of always being scared. I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of leaving the hotel, I'm scared of coming back. I'm scared of being in a car, I'm scared of being in an elevator. I'm scared of closing my eyes. I'm scared of people's voices, I'm scared of people. The memories I have of showers make me scared of showers. I'm scared to have the bathroom door locked. I'm scared to have the bedroom door closed. I'm scared of being trapped... I'm too scared to live.

* * *

**Can anybody say twist? *gasp* ... This next part is done with a good ole country accent:...Okey dokey my fanfic friends (yes, writing "fanfic friends" made me laugh) I just want to say a special thank you for your reviews. They mean heaps and bunches to me and I love every one of ya for 'em! Yeehaw! *End country accent* **

**...Can anybody say I'm a weirdo? Everyone together now, "Yes!" ;)**


	18. Drip

Cody laid wide awake in his bed. It seemed closing his eyes was becoming more and more difficult as each day passed. Sometimes, as he laid there, he wished he was back in prison. He hated that he thought that way, but at least in prison he slept. At least in prison there was a good reason for each fear that he had... Although it seems that he feared more now than he did when he was in prison.

Cody slowly got out of bed and snuck out of his room. He walked past Carey, who was sleeping soundly on the couch, grabbed the key for the room off of the kitchen counter, and left.

He walked to the elevator and hit the 'down' button. A few seconds later the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. He stared into the small room, _'Do it! Come on! Do it! Just get on. Don't be such a baby!'_ He walked into the elevator and pushed a button. He wasn't even sure what floor he pushed. He held tightly onto the side rails. He began to have a panic attack the second the doors started closing. By the time it had gone down two floors he was breathing so hard that he was about to hyperventilate. He quickly pushed the 'doors open' button and exited the elevator.

He walked down the hall to the stairway. Once he got there he seemed to have absolutely no energy left. He sunk down into a corner, brought his knees up against his chest, and began rocking slowly back and forth. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He wanted to release all the pain he felt. But he couldn't.

"You don't cry in prison," He began whispering to himself as he rocked, "You don't cry in prison. You don't cry in prison."

* * *

He wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there, curled up and talking to himself. But when he heard footsteps approaching he knew he had to get up and leave. He stood up slowly, his body was still very weak. He held onto the stair railing as he began making his way back up to the twenty-third floor.

When he got back he was glad to see that Carey was still fast asleep. He looked over at the clock on the microwave and saw that it was 6am. He went back to his room and laid down.

"Where were you?" An angry Zack whispered as he walked into the room.

Cody was startled by him, "I... I couldn't sleep. I just walked around the hotel for a while. Where were you?"

"I was looking for you! I just got back about a minute ago. I went to see if you were in the bathroom before coming back in here."

"Well, I'm fine. Go back to bed."

"You were gone for four hours! I thought something had happened to you." Zack took a deep breath, "Listen to me, Cody, you are anything but fine. You haven't been fine since you got out of prison... Would you just talk to me? I want to help!"

"I don't need any help!" Cody exclaimed in a whispered tone.

"That's bull!"

"Shut up!"

"Fine! Don't let me help! Kill yourself for all I care!"

* * *

For the next three days Cody seemed happier than ever. He acted as though he had completely forgotten about the argument that he and Zack had had. He laughed with his Mom, cooked breakfast and dinner each day, helped Zack with his homework, and slept soundly each night. His fears seemed to vanish almost instantly.

Zack thought that maybe the argument had helped him in some weird way. He wasn't sure. It almost seemed too good to be true...

* * *

"I'm gonna go take a shower, Mom," Cody said as he came out of his room. He and Zack had just finished playing games on their computer. Zack actually couldn't believe that Cody wanted to play. He had never liked the kind of computer games that Zack did. But, they had a lot of fun. For once, they both seemed to be happy and content.

"Okay, honey," She replied as she continued to dry and put away the dishes.

Before going into the bathroom Cody went up to her and gave her a hug.

"What's that for?" She asked with a smile.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He went into the bathroom and took a quick shower.

Once he got out he dried off and put on a pair of red, plaid pajama pants and a white t-shirt.

He left the water running in the shower. He didn't want to be interrupted.

He had hidden a razor blade in his blue jean pocket and laid it on the counter once he got into the bathroom. He picked it up and held it in his hand, staring at it. _'Do I really want to do it?'_ He thought,_ '...I'm not sure... Will I feel better after I do it? Most definitely.'_

He sat down on the bathroom floor and placed the razor against his left wrist. He began sliding the razor across, slicing his skin. There's no turning back now.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

He watched as the blood fell to the floor and suddenly nothing else mattered. He felt a slight sting from where the razor had sliced his wrist, but that's no big deal.

Now, all the anger and stress that he had been feeling just seemed to disappear. He began to feel... free.

He took the razor and placed it against his other wrist. One small slice and now the blood is dripping from both wrists.

He leaned back against the bathroom wall as he sat on the cold, tile floor.

Blood. There was so much blood all around him.

"Is Cody still in the shower?" Zack asked.

"Yeah. It's been a while," Carey replied, "I guess he just wants to get extra clean."

Suddenly something he had said to Cody just a few days before popped in his mind, _'Kill yourself for all I care!'_ Then everything clicked. He became so happy right after that night. He became so different.

"Oh my God!"

Cody began to feel lightheaded and his vision was becoming blurred. He wasn't sure how long he had been in the bathroom at that point, but he knew it had been a while.

As his vision completely faded he wondered if it was the end for him. If it was, he didn't care. _'It's better this way.'_

"What are you doing?" Carey asked Zack as he ran to the bathroom door and started pounding on it.

Zack didn't respond, he just started screaming Cody's name.

He can barely hear a knock on the door. Then the knocking becomes louder and louder. He thinks he hears someone calling his name but he doesn't have the strength to respond.

Zack used all of his strength to break open the bathroom door, "Cody!" He screamed as he saw all of the blood.

He pulled two towels off of the towel rack and pressed them against Cody's wrists.

"Mom!" Zack screamed hysterically, "Call 911! Cody's not breathing!"

* * *

**Ah. The chapter that takes us back to chapter one. Back to the beginning. Back to the start. Back to the birth of the story. Back to the dawn of it all. Back to the genesis, Back to the... Huh? Oh, that was enough. Okay, well I think you get what I'm saying anyway. **  
** So, I'm thinkin' there will be one more chapter... I'm like 99% sure that the next chapter will be the last. **  
** I went back to chapter one to re-read it so I could re-word it for this chapter, and I realized at the bottom in my a/n that I put "fully" instead of "full", and I was like, "Good job, Chey, good job! You screwed up in your first chapter. You're lucky anyone continued reading afterwards." ...Yes, I talk to myself occasionally... Hey, don't look at me like that!**  
** Okay, I'm done being crazy for now. Review and let me know what you think :)  
**

**P.S. Aparently (well, according to spell check) "snuck" isn't a word. I'm supposed to use "sneaked" instead. But I don't like the word sneaked, so I'm using snuck! If ya don't like it, I don't care. ;)**


	19. End

Zack and Carey sat in the hospital room. Neither of them spoke. Neither of them took their eyes off of Cody.

He laid their, perfectly still. He looked as though he was just sleeping... but he wasn't. He was in a coma. There was an IV in his left arm, keeping him hydrated. In his right arm he was being given a blood transfusion.

The doctor told them that with how weak Cody's body already was, plus the blood loss, their was no way to know if he'd make it or not. Only time would tell.

Zack had practically become a mute since the night he found Cody. He would only speak if Carey asked him a direct question, and even then, his answers were short and to the point.

He took three days off of school, but Carey wanted him to start back. She told him it was because he couldn't afford to miss any more days, but it was really because she thought it would be healthier for him to get away from the hospital for a while.

Zack went back to school without argument, but he didn't really pay attention. His emotions were all over the place. One minute he's be sad. Then he'd feel angry and betrayed. Afterwards, a cloud of guilt would come over him. And lastly, he'd feel useless and scared.

After school he'd go straight to the hospital and sit with Cody, letting his Mom have a break from her long days. Carey would go down to the cafeteria and relax... Well, as much as you can relax when you don't know if your child is going to live or not.

* * *

Zack spent two weeks waiting for answers. He couldn't wait any longer. He remembered how Cody used to talk about his cellmate when Zack would visit him in prison. It seemed as though Christopher was the only person Cody could trust in there. Zack figured that maybe Cody talked to him, or maybe Christopher just knew something. He knew it was a long shot, but he had to try.

He told Carey that he had a project to work on after school so she would know why he was late. There was no need for her to add another worry onto her plate.

"Who are you here to see?" A female officer asked Zack at the front desk.

"Christopher..." It was at that moment that Zack realized he had no idea what Christopher's last name was. "Um... I don't know his last name, but he shared a cell with my brother, Cody Martin. Can you look that up?"

"I'm sorry. I can't let you in to see him if you don't even know him. Only family is allowed to visit here."

"Ma'am, I really need to talk to him... Please!"

"I'm sorry, you can't."

Zack sighed, "Please!" He begged with tears in his eyes, "Just five minutes. I just need to ask him something. He and my brother shared a cell for over a year and my brother just tried to commit suicide and we don't know if he's going to live and I told him I didn't care if he killed himself but I was just angry and I didn't really mean it and I need to know if this Christopher guy knows anything," Zack was talking extremely fast and he wasn't taking a break in between sentences. All the words just ran together, "I just need some answers and I won't take long and-"

"Honey, honey!" The officer interrupted, "Take a breath, okay? I'll look him up and I'll give you five minutes... but that's all."

"Thank you," Zack replied with relief.

"You're welcome."

* * *

Christopher froze when he got to the table. He stared at Zack for a moment, "Cody?"

"No," Zack replied, "I'm... I'm his brother, Zack. You're Christopher?"

Christopher nodded and sat down, "That's me. What are you doin' here?"

"Cody... Cody tried to kill himself two weeks ago. He's still in a coma and they don't know if he'll make it."

"Oh... I'm sorry, kid."

"Yeah," Zack took a deep breath, "Listen, I only have a few minutes but, Cody talked about you every once in a while, and it seemed like you're the only person he talked to while he was in prison... Do you care if I ask you something?" He asked.

Christopher could see the desperation in Zack's eyes, "Go ahead. I'm not sure I'll be able to answer though."

"That's okay. Did... Did something happen to him here?"

Christopher sighed. How was he supposed to answer that?

Zack could sense the hesitation.

"He... He was raped, wasn't he?"

Christopher remained silent for a moment before replying, "Yeah. Yeah, he was."

Zack immediately felt nauseous. Tears began rolling down his eyes before he could stop them. He quickly wiped them away. "How... How bad?"

"He was in the hospital a few times. I know of at least four men... Might be more than that though."

Zack couldn't believe what he was hearing, "How come we were never told?" That question wasn't directed at Christopher, it was just Zack thinking out loud. But Christopher knew the answer, so he replied.

"He didn't want you to know. Not you or your mom."

Silence filled the room. Neither of them knew what to say.

"Uh... I just... I just have one more question," Zack said once he found his voice again.

"Sure."

"Did he ever talk about the reason he was in prison? ...About the car accident?"

Christopher wasn't sure what to say. If he told Zack the truth about what happened, it could ruin him. Zack already seemed pretty destroyed. "No," He replied, "He never talked about it."

Zack nodded, "Okay."

The female guard walked up to Zack, "Time to go, hon."

Zack stood up, "Thank you for helping me," He said to Christopher.

"You're welcome, kid. I hope Cody makes it."

"Thanks. Me too."

The guard walked Zack to the door.

"Thank you for the five minutes," He said to her with a small smile.

"Anytime."

As Zack headed to get into a cab his phone began to ring, "Hello."

"Zack, get to the hospital now!" Carey exclaimed.

"Mom, what's wrong?"

"He's waking up!"

* * *

Zack made it to the hospital in record time.

When he got to the room he heard Cody screaming, "Why didn't you let me die!" Zack slowly stepped into the room. Carey was standing in the back, tears falling down her face. A nurse was about to inject a sedative into Cody's IV, and the doctor was trying to calm him down.

"I was supposed to die! I was supposed to die!" The sedative slowly worked its way into Cody's system. I was supposed to die! I was su-" His words started to slur and his eyes began to droop, and soon he was completely out of it.

"What happened?" Zack asked, still shocked from how Cody was acting.

"He... He woke up and when he realized where he was... he started screaming," Carey replied.

"I know the reaction was a surprise to both of you," The doctor began, "But it really is normal. He should be calmer the next time he wakes up. I'll be back in an hour to check on him."

* * *

Cody was calmer the next time he woke up. He didn't scream, but he was still very angry. Once he was well enough he was taken to a different part of the hospital and placed under a seventy-two hour suicide watch.

Carey would sit with him all day. She would try talking to him, but he would just stare straight ahead. After school, Zack would come and sit. He didn't try to talk, and Cody still just stared.

* * *

It was finally time for them to go home. Cody just had to get dressed then he could leave. The doctor was going over some things with Carey about what to expect and how he shouldn't be left alone.

Zack went into Cody's hospital room. He stood in the doorway, just watching him. Cody was sitting on his bed, looking out the window.

"You think playing computer games with me is a good way to say goodbye?" Zack asked. Right now the emotion he was feeling was anger. It seemed he felt that more than anything since Cody woke up.

Cody didn't reply.

"What? Are you deaf? You really think that once you died I would say 'Oh, well at least we got to play a game together before he decided to slice himself up'?"

Again, Cody remained silent.

Zack walked up to Cody and stood in front of him, blocking his view from the window, "Do you know that I was the one who found you? I saw you lying there, covered in your own blood, not breathing... Speak, Cody!"

"What do you want me to say?" He asked slowly.

"Was it my fault? Was it because I told you that I didn't care if you killed yourself? Did you really think I meant that? I didn't! I was just angry with you but I never wanted you to kill yourself!"

"I know." Cody finally looked Zack in the eyes, "I know you didn't mean it. It's not your fault."

"Then why? Why would you think that this was the thing to do? Why would you want to end your own life?" Zack's voice was calmer now. His anger was fading, although it wasn't completely gone.

"I'm tired."

Zack sighed, "Well, so am I, but I don't want to die."

"But I do."

"Why?"

Tears filled in Cody's eyes, _'You don't cry in prison.'_ He forced the tears to go away, "I'm tired of being afraid of everything. I'm tired of being trapped. I'm tired of being alone."

Zack sat down beside Cody, "But you're not trapped, Cody. And you are definitely not alone. I'm here for you, and Mom's here for you. If you'd just talk to us then maybe we could help you."

Cody shook his head, "No. No one can help me. No one understands."

Zack didn't know if this was the best time to bring it up, but he did anyway, "I talked to Christopher."

"What?" Cody asked as he turned and looked at Zack.

"I went to the prison and talked to Christopher. That's where I was when you woke up."

"Wh... Why would you do that?"

"Because, I needed to. I needed answers... He... He told me..."

"Told you what?" Cody asked, his heart was racing.

"He told me that you were... you were raped."

Cody immediately put his head in his hands. He began rocking back and forth, "No, no, no, no-"

"Cody, it's okay. It's not your fault."

"No, no, no-"

"Cody. Cody, listen to me!"

Cody stopped talking and rocking, but he wouldn't look up.

"You're right, neither Mom or I could understand what you went through. But we can help you through it. And you can go to counseling for it, too. There are so many options, but taking your own life shouldn't be one of them."

Cody lifted his head, but he stared stared out the window. He wouldn't look at Zack. A tear escaped his eye and he quickly wiped it away, "I'm sorry," He said.

"It's okay to cry."

"You don't cry in prison," Cody mumbled.

"What?" Zack asked.

"You don't cry in prison," He repeated a little more clearly.

"Cody, you aren't in prison anymore."

"You don't cry in prison. You don't cry in prison. You don't-"

"Hey!" Zack said loudly to pull Cody out of his trance. "You are not in prison, Cody."

Cody looked at him, tears were filled up in his eyes and his lip was trembling, "I still... feel like... I am."

Zack put an arm around his brother, "But you're not. You're free. You've been given the chance to start over... Listen, you don't have to think about everything today. I haven't told Mom about what I know. If you want her to know, then that's your decision. Don't worry about counseling or anything like that. I just... I just want to promise me one thing."

"What?"

"That you'll try to live."

Cody looked at him, slightly confused.

"Just take it one day at a time," Zack continued, "And if you ever feel like you're at the end of your rope, you'll talk to me, or Mom, or a homeless man on the street. I don't care who, just promise me that you'll try."

Cody finally let the tears fall freely from his eyes, "I'm... scared," He said through shallow breaths.

Zack pulled him into a hug, "I know you are. I am too. But, will you please try?"

"O... Okay."

"Promise me, Cody." Zack pulled Cody back, keeping hold of him at the shoulders, so he could look at him, "I can promise you that Mom and I will help you every step of the way, but you have to promise me that you'll let us. And that we'll get through this together. But only say it if you really mean it. Only if you'll really let us help you and you won't give up. "

Cody took a deep breath as the tears continued to fall, "I... I promise."

* * *

**The End! Can you guys believe it? We made it! *Confetti falls here***

** Thank you all so much for being such amazing reviewers! Your reviews have made me laugh and smile and I will be forever grateful for every one of them!**

**This will be my last Suite Life story for a while as I am now working on an NCIS story. **

** Lastly, I am known for my randomness, so I will leave you with this one random fact about me: My father chose my name while watching the weather channel. (random enough? ...Good ;D)**


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